Thursday, January 12, 2017

Mexico 2017 - Where are the taxis?


I started the first morning of my vacation with Walking Club. This is when all the ambitious people get up at daybreak and go for an early morning walk. I left sometime after 7 and walked west on our street. Beyond our complex was half a kilometer of jungle and brush and pretty much every inch of it had garbage thrown upon it. This is one sign that you have reached Latin America – lots of garbage tossed around. Some of it must have been quite fresh because the smell in spots was atrocious, so I held my breath and walked faster through these odorous patches.

When I returned everybody else was up and we put together a breakfast of fried eggs, flavour-packed mini bananas, habanero sauce, grapes and cheese, all delicious. Although there was only one bathroom, after breakfast we all managed to shower and clean up without stepping on each other or getting any full frontals.

We decided to spend the first day of 2017 on the beach in Playa del Carmen. Now our apartment was about 5 kilometers away from the beach, so public transport was the name of the game, and we were assured by Mom and Rick that the main street near the apartments was always full of taxis, collectivos and busses so getting downtown was never a problem. Mom’s neighbour Jose offered to load his car with passengers and give us a lift to the beach so half of us jumped in and rest of us – Rick, Randy, Ana and I walked to the street to hail a cab. I knew Rick and Randy had it all under control as they had been here so long they were practically locals. So we took up a spot on the corner and started waving for a taxi. A few drove by but they were all full. Then a few dozen drove by and they were all full. Then a nice looking Mexican couple walked up to our corner, swiped the spot ahead of us, and immediately flagged down a free taxi. Well that was lucky, I thought. A few more full taxis drove on by. Then a young girl walked up and again took the spot ahead of us. What the hell kind of protocol is this, I wondered? I looked at Rick and he seemed cool, then I looked at Randy and he was giving the Mexican girl the stink eye, but she was ignoring him. After a few minutes a free taxi pulled up and picked up the Mexican girl. Also, across the street another group of people got a taxi. So Ana and I decided to get smart and we crossed the street and grabbed pole position right on the corner. Ten more taxis passed by, all full, and Randy and Rick were now three spots down from the corner as more Mexicans started arriving and each displacing the other from the good spot. As Ana and I watched, two groups jumped on busses, leaving Randy and Rick in the prized corner position. But then a Mexican hoochie mamma wearing a short skirt and half a shirt walked right up and stole the spot, and there was simply no way our boys were going to get a taxi before that girl.  So Ana and I crossed back over, as our side of the street was completely dry, and walked way up the block to try and scoop everybody. Our plan seemed to be working, as we were now first in line, but all the damn taxis were full. I even walked across the street to the Oxxo convenience store and tried recruiting the taxi parked there, to no avail. I walked back over to Ana, and I was getting pretty thirsty by this time as the sun was hot, so imagine my delight when I noticed a full, capped beer sitting in the grass right beside a power transformer.

“Look! Free beer!” I exclaimed as I was bending over to pick up the bottle.

“No!” Ana said, “It’s a trap! Think about it – who would leave a free beer sitting on the sidewalk?”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s possible, like maybe a happy 2017 present from somebody?”

“Don’t touch it, bad idea.”

I decided she was probably right, but now I was really desperate as there were no empty taxis passing by at all, although there were plenty of busses. We walked back over to Randy and Rick, who were still standing there like a couple of chumps.

“This is useless. What’s going on?” I asked.

“It has never taken us this long to get a cab, not even close,” Randy replied.

“Why don’t we just catch a bus, most of them say Centro on them so I’m sure they go downtown,” Ana suggested.

“Nope,” said Rick, “Don’t take them busses, too hard to figure them out.” We found our later that last year Rick tried taking a bus to the grocery store to buy meat and spent three hours riding around Playa del Carmen with his bag of steak because he didn’t know where he was and couldn’t remember where he lived.

So we decided we might as well start walking and Ana and I headed in the direction where the scent of ocean water seemed to be coming from. Rick was sticking to his guns and refused to walk. Randy wasn’t convinced of our plan, but he did start slowly walking, not wanting to ditch Rick but still wanting to do...something. At that moment, Jose pulled up in his car right beside Rick, and was wondering what the hell we were doing all spread out on the street like that.

Jose whisked us downtown at high speed and dropped us off in the same place he dropped the others. We were shocked when we saw all of them still there, but they had spread out the beach chairs and were patiently waiting for us. We explained our failed cabbing attempt as we gathered all our things and walked down to the beach. The beach was very nice, but was also right in the heart of downtown, close to the ferry terminal for boats to Cozumel, so there were people everywhere. We got settled in front of Wawa’s, one of many restaurants there. Finally, we were on the beach so I laid back and soaked some of that glorious sun into my white, dried out, Canadian exoskeleton. The first day on the beach you always feel like a real knob because you’re so white so it’s important to get good and burned so you can peel away that terrible layer of winter skin and start tanning some fresh stuff.

Ana, her mom and I went for a long walk on the beach to check out our surroundings. We found a long line of bars and restaurants and many, many people – some of which looked like leftovers from the New Year's Eve party last night. A young couple, mostly dressed, were sleeping on beach chairs and looked like they had been there for a while. The other guy we saw wasn't as particular with his choice of overnight accommodation and was face down in the sand, asleep and getting scorched by the hot sun. I pointed to him and said to Maria, "Hey, that's what I used to do all the time before I met Ana!" She thought I was joking.

After a while thick sheets of dark clouds gathered and the menacing blackness drove us inside the restaurant. We ordered up a bucket of beers and some lunch items. After an unusually long wait the food arrived –Ana and I shared some decent shrimp tacos and the rest had Mexican chili fries and burgers. The food was more expensive than I was expecting, but then we were eating in a beachside restaurant right downtown so that should not have been a surprise.

We went for a stroll along 5th Avenue, which is a bustling pedestrian street that runs for twenty blocks and is packed with stores selling everything a tourist may need from diamonds to lucha libre wresting masks to bottles of tequila to cigars. The majority are junky tourist shops, but there are also some traditional and authentic Mexican stores such as Old Navy, Krispy Kreme, Starbucks and Hugo Boss. I really liked when a parade of cruise ship passengers passed by Magnus, John and I as we were sitting on the steps of a shop waiting for the girls. They each had a giant number stuck to their shirt and at the head of the pack was a loud-mouthed guide holding up a large sign with this same number, so they wouldn’t get mixed in with some other cruise ship potty parade.

We returned to the beach for a little while, but by this time it was insanely packed and the horrifyingly over-tanned, speedoed, extensively tattooed and dread-locked Quebecer couple that had been laying in the direct sun all day in front of us looked like they might have died because they hadn’t moved for ages, and we didn’t want to go through any police interrogation so we got the hell out of there.

We taxied back to the hotel (no trouble at all this time, besides getting ripped off on price) and got settled around the pool at Mom’s place. We met a friend of theirs named George and his girlfriend Grit and heard some incredible sailing stories. Over a span of three years he and various different crew members had sailed his 2010 50 foot Hunter sailboat from Vancouver down to Central America, across the Pacific, through the Pacific Islands, New Zealand, Australia and all the way up to Langkawi, Malaysia where it was currently located. He was still trying to figure out which route to take the boat next, and had learned that the most recent innovation in the sailing world was to hire a sniper (usually around $20 grand) to join you on your boat as you travelled through pirate waters. These guys are typically ex-military and are experts at pinging off pirates if they get too close. For some strange reason, Ana thought this would be an excellent retirement gig for us. I guess it does offer excellent working conditions and great pay, as long as you don’t mind murdering Somali bandits.

They recounted another amazing story where they were caught in a storm in Thailand and while on watch Grit spotted a man in the water floating on a small piece of wreckage. She could hardly believe her eyes as they were in huge seas in the middle of nowhere. After several attempts they managed to get him out of the water and on board. He was close to death, but fortunately for him Grit is a nurse and was able stabilize him while they got him to safety. He was a Burmese fisherman and had been floating for three days; his face was completely cracked open from the sunburn and the little ocean fish had eaten the flesh away from his Achilles tendon, leaving the white, stringy fibre completely exposed. They ended up transferring him over to the Thai coast guard and saw in the news several days later that the coast guard had taken full credit for the rescue!

We had all the leftovers from the previous night for dinner at Mom’s, and while we were there the neighbours Jose and Soani invited Ana and I out for drinks. So we sent the old folks and kids home and then joined our new friends at a local drinkeria called Azul. We orders beers and wine and had an amazing time talking about all the great things travellers like to talk about. They are Venezuelan but had only recently moved to Mexico to live, after spending nearly 15 years living and working in the UK, so they spoke English perfectly. They told us about what it was like living in Mexico and their reasons for making such a move. It is always so invigorating to meet people who are not afraid of make big changes in their lives and taking a chance on something new.

Mexico 2017 - Arrival


It has been a very long time since we’ve been close to missing a flight, but it was looking like a distinct possibility today.  Although we left home at 2:45 in the morning, we were only 30 minutes from departure and still stuck in the incredibly long, winding security line that seemed to have no end. At times like this you choose to do one of two things; stay calm or flip your lid, both of which would likely have the same result. I choose to wait patiently and preserve my sense of tranquility. Actually, as I was waiting I learned a new, third option. A lady ahead of us dropped her and her husband’s boarding passes on the ground, which I picked up and gave back to her, only for her to realize that she had also dropped their passports somewhere along the line. Start panic mode now. They began frantically scanning the floor and walked back through the line, searching everywhere for their passports. Somebody in line told them that the passports had been found and were being held by security so they jumped out of the line, went straight to the front and were given their passports and allowed to pass. I will keep this fine scheme in mind for future flights.

We squeaked through just in time to get on our flight, leaving ourselves just enough time to buy a sandwich from the shop at the gate. But we do not like paying $14 for a crummy airport sandwich so we boarded breakfastless, coffeeless, yet very happy that we didn’t miss the flight.


My friend Tony is an inventor and wanted us to beta test a new rest aid for air travellers. Now I don’t know where he gets these amazing ideas, but he took a standard low profile, 90’s style fanny pack, turned it upside down, slipped in a card that says, “Ask me where you can get your own amazing head stabilizer!” and kaboom – an indispensible in-flight sleep aid. All you have to do is put the pack over your face, which cinches your head to the seat (and doubles as a light guard), have the passenger behind you buckle it up for you right on top of their television screen, and it’s bedtime for Bonzo. Now I was so excited to try it out, but the device was in Stella’s bag and she was seated in the next aisle so I couldn’t get it, and I was so tired I fell asleep instantly in the standard fashion with my head flopping all over the place. I will have to test it on the way home.


We arrived in Cancun, checked through immigration, and retrieved our bags in no time. Outside, the beautiful, damp, Caribbean air was welcome and our dried out skin sucked up the moisture greedily. We found a man holding up a sign with our names on it and he lead us to our taxi, which was complete with a driver named Juan and a cooler with Coke, water and Corona. We cracked the drinks and made a toast to the start of our holiday!


In under an hour we arrived at our rented apartment in the Real Ibiza complex in Playa del Carmen. The owner of our Air B&B rental was there to meet us and showed us around the two bedroom unit, which was smallish, but more than sufficient for us and my in-laws John and Maria who had joined us on the trip. We were pleasantly surprised to learn that the owner had provisioned it with basic groceries to get us started.


The reason we had chosen this particular area was because my mom and step-father Rick were renting an apartment in an adjacent building and came here yearly so were very familiar with the city. After getting settled and unpacked we went over to Mom’s place and they had lunch all ready for us. With them was their friend Randy who was visiting from Sylvan Lake in Alberta and is an old friend of Rick’s.


After lunch we moved down to the pool so the kids could enjoy their favourite of the four elements and we could sample the local Mexican beer. The complex is comprised of eight buildings and each pair share their own pool – a very nice set up and a great way to meet the neighbours. The residents were an interesting mix of Mexicans and foreigners – some living and working in Mexico while others were short or long term vacationers from many different countries. We decided to take a trip to the nearby Walmart so we could do a full grocery shopping so we flagged down a taxi and a $2.50 cab ride got us there in less than ten minutes. The Walmart was structured much like the ones in Canada but with a different variety of foods and merchandise. We retrieved some Mexican pesos from the ATM and then explored the aisles and got our first taste of rally-style shopping cart racing with the fast moving, never yielding Mexicans. I also picked up a pair of splendid $5 sunglasses because the sunglasses I was supposed to bring (in fact the only item I was responsible for packing) were still secured safely in the convenient sunglass holder in our van, currently frozen into a parking stall at the Skyway parking lot at Pearson Airport in Toronto.


After a long, blisteringly hot wait in the taxi line, we cabbed it back to our apartment, unloaded the groceries and then returned to Mom’s. The kids had befriended the neighbour boy Sebastian, and we met his parents Jose and Soani, both Venezuelans but living and working in Playa del Carmen. We enjoyed an extended happy hour and then Mom served up an assortment of dishes for dinner - taquitos, roasted pork and meatballs, accompanied by pico de gallo and guacamole sauces. After eating, I could see the early morning start and busy day had taken its toll on everybody and our eyelids were starting to droop. There remained little chance we would be able to make it to midnight for the 2017 New Year, so instead we threw in the towel, returned to our apartment and put a knife into the heart of this day.

Monday, December 19, 2016

2016 Olson Christmas Letter




Merry Christmas everybody. 

So as you have probably heard we've had a tough year. I am currently typing this on a borrowed computer that I got from one of the host families here in Syria. It was difficult to find a keyboard with English keys as all of them here are in Arabic, but the incredibly resourceful Syrians were able to get one somewhere. This is has also been the reason for the lack of our communication in recent months.

I know a lot has already been said about the unimaginable turn of events in Canada, and there will be much more to come as the world tries to understand what happened and we Canadians cope with our uncertain future.  The most disturbing aspect of this is how utterly unprepared we were as a country for this type of disaster. Were we simply naïve? Too trusting? Stupid? In any case, looking back now it seems that all the United States ever really saw us as was a cheap and handy source of energy. All those decades of friendship, trade and cooperation really meant nothing when it came down to survival.

As it stands, the government of Canada has fallen and the US has appointed an interim leader. Our army, navy and air force have been decimated and the US military has taken over what was left of them. So many people have died. So many people have been injured and disfigured beyond recognition. So many people we knew, and loved. I think we tried our best to put up a resistance, but it was futile in the face of overwhelming odds. All the jokes we used to make about Americans being gun crazy and keeping inventories of assault weapons and ammunition in their houses don't seem too funny now at all. But like I said, I'm sure you already know all of this, and probably more than I do about the current situation.

The good news is that the four of are alive, which is more than can be said for many others who were caught in the first offensive. Unbelievably our nice little town of Paris was right in the path of the army and it was almost completely destroyed. We had already fled our house before the bombs hit, and there is nothing left there now but a smoking hole in the ground. At least I don't have to cut the grass anymore, ha ha. We lost everything besides what we could carry in our backpacks. During the escape two of us were hurt. I was very close to an explosion from a bomb and a piece of shrapnel hit one of my eyes and ruined it. Magnus got shot in his leg and Ana and Stella were extremely close to being killed, but fortunately they were able to hide beneath some wreckage when the soldiers were spraying bullets into a crowd so they made it out ok. Both Magnus' and my injuries were treated so we are pretty much fine now and will both have great war stories to tell our kids and grandkids. Many of our friends and family were not so lucky, and the four of us have literally cried ourselves to sleep many nights thinking of those we have lost, rest their souls. Ana and I are doing our best to be strong for the kids, but to be honest I think they are the ones who have helped us through. Our kids are so incredibly resourceful and emotionally tough that I know in the end they will be fine.

To make a long story short, after we fled our town on foot we met up with Ana's folks and her brother, wife and newborn at a makeshift camp in Brantford (the mobile phone network was still working back then so we could communicate by phone and text, but that didn't last for long). For a while they had converted the Civic Centre into a meeting point for all the people who had lost their homes in the bombing, and that's where Magnus and I were treated as they had a bunch of medical workers there. We were told that the US military was going to take over the building so we had to get out. Now what we Canadians always thought of as a geographical gift of having only one friendly country as a neighbour turned out to be a total disaster as there was no place to escape to when that neighbour turned out to be not so friendly – the only options were three big oceans on all remaining sides. We thought of going to our sailboat on Lake Erie but realized the army would certainly have taken over the Welland Canal, blocking our access to the ocean. The other option was taking the Erie Canal but since that runs straight through the US it didn't seem likely we'd be able to get far.

We bought space on a private bus headed for the east coast where the army was allowing people to leave the country. The UN and a bunch of ally countries had set up a base in Halifax where they were airlifting people out. Luckily when things were looking bad at the start I had taken a large amount of cash out of the bank, and literally the day after I did this the entire banking system was frozen and people weren't able to access any of their money. This is what enabled all of us to get to Halifax, and it wasn't cheap, but at least we made it there. Now don't ask me how this happened, because I really don't understand it myself, but we were put on a series of airplanes that eventually ended up in Syria, of all places. I would have thought we would end up in the UK, France or some other European country but the whole world order and politics are so screwed up at the moment, that's just how it happened, and we were just happy to be getting out, no matter where we ended up. Sadly, we were not all able to go together and the rest of Ana's family was sent to Turkey. They are actually only about 500 kilometres away from us, but we aren't allowed to travel at the moment, so we haven't seen them but we know they are safe and doing okay and we hope to reunite with them sometime soon. Most of my family is still in Saskatchewan, and the last time we were in contact they were fine, but scared as the US army had taken over there too, but there had been much less violence than in the east of the country. My brother from Ottawa and his family are currently in Halifax and trying to get out on one of the planes, hopefully that happens very soon.

So what now? Until the current situation changes, we are living in Syria. It is hard to watch and read the news of what's going on back home, as there is so much death and suffering. We also don’t know what to believe, because the US networks are covering most of it and they obviously cannot be trusted. For now, we still have a fair bit of cash left, so should be fine for the foreseeable future, but we are also getting help from many Syrian families in the neighbourhood in which we are living. Most of the Syrians we have met have been supportive and helpful, while others are suspicious and wary of this foreign family plopped down in their midst. I don't know how long we will be here so we have begun Arabic lessons to try and make sense of this language that is so completely foreign to us. I am hoping that at some point we will be able to access our accounts back home, and if we can then we will probably try to get to an English speaking country, but until then we are just happy that we are all safe, we have beds to sleep in, and are being well taken care of by our Syrian hosts.

Before last year, we lived like everybody else in Canada did, with our luxurious lifestyle and everyday issues that were so minor that it's quite laughable now. Yes, we always tried to take time to stop and appreciate what we had, and we tried to teach the kids not to take things for granted. But now, we are really learning what it means to be appreciative. And when it comes down to it, we have our lives and we have each other, and there isn't anything else that matters. I do not know what our future holds, but I do know that this ordeal will make us stronger, wiser, and better people in the end. In the meantime, we will continue to grieve for our dead and pray for the living.

To our friends, family and countrymen still in Canada and those who are scattered around the world – be strong, be smart, and never give up hope. We will be together again.

––––––––––––––––––––


Merry Christmas to you all! Count your blessings and here is to a 2017 full of love, peace and compassion.

 
Kris, Ana, Magnus and Stella Olson



Friday, November 25, 2016

Our Fifteenth Anniversary in Toronto


Anyone who reads these blogs from time to time probably knows that we take our kids everywhere. If I think back to before Ana and I had children I am pretty sure we expected to do what most others do and take short "sanity breaks" from time to time away from the kids, banking on somebody to take care of them so that we could have some time on our own. But once we had kids, we didn’t really do that, and I don't remember us ever having a discussion and making a conscious decision on this topic. On the rare occasion that we found ourselves together without the kids we really missed them, especially as the kids got older, and it didn't seem right that they were missing out as members of the family. It also worked out easier for us not having to find and pay for babysitters!

Now I do realize that we are really in the minority here, and I completely understand the reasons for doing trips without the kids – it's cheaper, it's easier, it is definitely more relaxing, but also it allows the kids to develop independence. These are all good reasons. But we've simply never been comfortable with it. And as a result our kids might be a little less independent than others who have spent more time away from their parents, but on balance we've always felt the benefits greatly outweigh this.

So as our fifteenth anniversary approached we decided to take a short trip away without the kids. We have been leaving them on their own more in the past year since they are now old enough to be at home by themselves, so both parties are getting a little more used to spending time apart. We asked the kids what they thought about this and Stella was pretty sure we should be celebrating our anniversary as a team, but I suspect Magnus may have spoken to her later and convinced her that we should be allowed out on our own.

So on Friday after work I drove over to Glenhyrst to pick up Ana. As she was still finishing up a few things I had a chat with her colleague Yvonne.

"So what are you guys going to do all weekend?" she asked.

"Well, we're going to a Toronto FC soccer game on Saturday, besides that we have no plans so will just wander around and see what happens. Although on the way over I realized I forgot to grab a jacket so I might have to pick one up," I replied.

"Oh, so you'll be doing some shopping?"

"Shopping?? Hell no, we're way too cheap to spend money on frivolous clothing. Ana will probably just steal a jacket from some homeless guy in Toronto that looks about my size. I'll shake off the dirt and grime and it should be fine."

With that we took off, made a quick stop to say hi to the kids and Ana's folks, and were soon on the 403 highway heading for Toronto. After a deadly serious 30 second discussion about the wardrobe situation, we took the next Brantford exit and went straight to Value Village to pop some tags and get properly geared up for the weekend. Now normally I refuse to go into any retail store – especially clothing stores – but in this case I considered it an excellent surprise start to our weekend adventure so I marched in there, went right to the men's section and started trying on jackets, as I sang that awesome Macklemore song out loud, over and over again (I wear your granddad's clothes, I look incredible). I have never enjoyed a Value Village visit as much as I did in that moment. But my joy was short lived as Ana too decided she might like a weekend jacket so we spent the next half an hour going through each and ever ladies coat they had, in an agonizing search for a perfect one. She did eventually find one she liked but it was missing a belt so she sent me gathering all the belts I could find (on the sly). I found it was easier to actually crawl on my hands and knees down the isle because then I could see which jackets had belts hanging off them. I removed each one, walked it over to Ana, presented it to her, got the nay, and then returned it. After a dozen or so I finally found one that was a suitable match, so I dusted off my knees, we paid for our jackets and were on our way.

The drive into Toronto was reasonably non-congested, but since we weren't in a rush the traffic we did hit was less irritating then normal. We found our hotel – a Holiday Inn near the intersection of Carlton and Yonge Streets – and squeezed the car into the underground parking, checked-in and then continued up to our room, which was small but very cozy. I had packed a cooler of drinks so we enjoyed a round of happy hour bevvies while we discussed our plan for the evening. We went with our default plan that comes into effect anytime we aren't sure what do to – start walking and keep on walking until we find something interesting to do.

This moment was the one I had been most looking forward to. Our visits to Toronto are typically day trips, characterized by an endless search for parking spots, manoeuvring our van through narrow streets congested with vehicles, bikes, streetcars and pedestrians, watching the clock to make sure we leave in time to beat the highway traffic, and a generally blistering, frantic pace. What we never get to do is have the time for leisurely exploring, so that is what we did. We slowly walked the streets, checking out some shops, listening to the plethora of languages we heard being spoken by the people we passed who originated from a hundred different countries, and smelling all the big city smells. Some were nice - frying food, perfume and cologne, leather, e-cig vapour, and others not so nice like car exhaust, the ever lurking smell of sewage and the updraft of oil, grease and mechanical smells as we walked over the giant grates beneath which the ferocious, speeding subway trains passed. We saw many young people, primed, beautiful, and looking for a party. We saw middle aged couples and groups of couples enjoying meals and drinks on the outdoor patios. We passed homeless people, and their faithful dogs, sitting together in small nooks between buildings, covered with blankets, sticking to themselves. We passed glamorous couples, looking the part. We noticed tourists, with their maps, and thick glasses, looking around mesmerized, perhaps lost. The sounds of the city were excellent - the screeching of streetcar steel wheels on steel tracks, jazz music, rock music, people laughing, the howling sirens of emergency vehicles, the idling of cars stopped at traffic lights, and the muffled conversations of people inside those cars, the honking horns of impatient taxi drivers, girlie show hawkers enticing young men to come in and enjoy the views, patio waiters taking orders, and their customers telling loud stories to their friends. Everywhere we looked lights punished the darkness. Store lights, billboard lights, headlights, streetlights, traffic lights, and the ever present glow from the ever present smart phones.

We passed many restaurants that appealed to us, but decided on a sushi place, and at 11 we were their last customers for the evening. The staff was all Japanese and spoke little English. I ordered a Sapporo and Ana, a lemon water. Our plate of sushi arrived and it looked and tasted magnificent. The waiters and cooks gathered at a table beside us, to enjoy their own meal at the end of an undoubtedly long shift. They devoured a giant pot of noodles, flavoured with several bowls of different coloured sauces, and ate greedily, spoke little, and appeared very tired. Ana and I talked about things, I can't remember what. But I do know that even after fifteen years of being around each other nearly all the time, we never run out of topics to discuss. There are always ideas to consider, events to be discussed, viewpoints to be presented, decisions to be thrashed out, memories to be celebrated, and plans to deliberate. We talk a lot about our kids, and we love talking about our future, and what it may hold.

After paying the exceptionally modest bill for the fine meal, we turned ourselves back towards the hotel and walked until we arrived there. We were tempted to stop for a nightcap along the way, but decided against it, as a sense of tiredness was creeping in after a long week and a long walk, so we returned to our room and enjoyed a lovely night's sleep in an enormous hotel bed.

Saturday arrived and I switched on the television to see what we've been missing in the cable world. Turn out…not much. I flipped through 50 channels of garbage, and then flipped through them once or twice more hoping something good would appear but it did not. So I finally settled on MuchMusic and watched lame pop videos while Ana went through her morning routine of beautification.

Once we were ready for the day, we left the hotel, looked across the street and saw two breakfast joints – a Cora's and a Golden Griddle. I have been to Cora's on a few occasions and really didn't care for it too much as the amply supplied fruit tends to overwhelm the meaty and doughy aspects of the breakfast, so we decided on the Golden Griddle and got exactly what we were expecting. We were seated beside the window so could watch the city coming to life outside. A group of girls walked by and one of them had somehow gotten part of her shorts tucked into her shirt and half of her ass was exposed to the day. Perhaps party goers from last night?

Directly beside our hotel was the old Maple Leaf gardens hockey stadium that had been retired many years earlier. The rink was still there but is now the Ryerson University's athletic centre while the other half of the building had been converted to a flagship Loblaws grocery store. We went for a walk through Loblaws and it was an impressive store indeed, and huge. We noted that they had a breakfast counter there where you could get breakfast sandwiches and fresh coffee so we marked that as a possible option for the next morning.

Ana's retail radar had been pinging off something big to the west of us and sure enough we found a massive Winners store there. Ana dove into the deals while I had a cursory look for pants, but I followed my usual routine of giving up if I don't find something in the first 90 seconds of looking and then went outside to watch the city. The city was now fully woken up and there were many people on the streets and cars on the road. A group of cyclists pedalled by and they were all wearing helmets with skewers protruding out of the top and sides, and upon each of these skewers was impaled a single marshmallow. I figured this was probably a big city biker gang, maybe called Satan's Shmallows?

We walked up Yonge Street and passed a Nerdery that sold Magic the Gathering cards -  Magnus's latest obsession. If you have never heard of a Nerdery, here's how it works. Remember when you used to play Dungeons and Dragons in your mom's basement back when you were 11 years old? And how you had a massive collection of Star Wars cards that you spent every penny on and fawned over for hours? And how you used to collect figurines and paint them and set them up and pretend they were battling? And how you used to collect superhero comic books and guard them with your life? Well, it turns out you are not required to ever grow out of that. It's called Nerd Culture and they are taking over the world. These little Nerdery shops exist everywhere and are a gathering place for proud, self-proclaimed Nerds who revel in the land of the imaginary. We were the first customers of the morning and the dude who unlocked the front door and let us in was happy to show us the latest and greatest in his inventory of Magic the Gathering card sets. We picked up a set for him, and were tempted to buy an 18 inch tall Wonder Woman action figure for Anna's colleague Yvonne, but when I saw the price tag of over $200 I axed that deal.

We continued up Yonge Street all the way to the main branch of the Toronto public library. Libraries have always fascinated me and since I have never been to a library in Toronto I just had to see it. We stepped through the doors and into a magnificent, multi levelled chamber complete with a glass elevator, book store, fish pond, hundreds of public computer terminals and who knows how many thousands of sweet, juicy books, journals, newspapers and magazines. We noticed there was a free cartography exhibit featured in the gallery so we began there and found an incredible collection of old maps (many of which were of Iceland) that were handsomely displayed and painstakingly annotated.

From here we took the elevator up to the level which housed the library's awesome collection of vinyl records. With the help of the super friendly staff I checked out an old Miles Davis album and we sat down at a listening station, plugged in our headphones, and listened to some fine jazz music. From here we wandered the floor for a while, enjoying the view offered by the wide open central galleria to the levels below. The entire building was so artfully designed, angular, inviting and functional. Another interesting feature was the glassed-in, sound proofed study bubbles, which were futuristic capsules dotted throughout the library, and available by reservation. I was tempted to tap on the glass to see if I could get the attention of the student creatures inside, but I remembered getting into trouble for doing that one time in a pet store, so I restrained myself.

From here we continued to Yorkville, one of the more expensive areas of the city and home to a number of ritzy art galleries. One of these is called Hefels and is also an art auction house and Ana had to speak to somebody there about slogging off some Glenhyrst art they didn't want anymore. As I am unable to participate in art speak without breaking into rude laughter, I excused myself from the conversation and browsed the gallery while Ana did her negotiations with the art ladies. After I had enjoyed all the paintings I slipped outside to admire the Joe Fafard sculpture just in front of the building. It features Emily Carr slouching in front of a dog who is sitting under the legs of a big horse being ridden by a monkey that is not paying attention. The surfaces are all sloppy and creamy and the whole presentation is rather strange, but I loved it. I was to learn many weeks later from my father that Joe Fafard is actually a Saskatchewan boy and specializes in sculpting giant horses, cows, pigs and bison. Just as I was about to hop up on the horse to sit with the monkey, Ana came out so I played it real cool and pretended like I was handling the boredom well.

We continue our walk through Yorkville, and then past the University of Toronto and then found another gallery with a lot of old religious art and stopped in to check it out. The owner was there and tried his best to sell us a hideous ancient painting for fifteen grand but he must have mistaken us for something other than thrifty window shoppers.

We decided to take the subway to Bloor West village, which was new for me as I'd never taken the Toronto subway before. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting as I'm used to hearing the traffic reports on CBC Toronto every morning, and every morning seems to be a disaster on the subway, but I guess it helped that we were traveling on the weekend. I was just happy that we were not in a car fighting the traffic and struggling to find parking. Being on a subway always reminds me of the years I lived in London, England and the many, many hours I spent on public transport there, and really never feeling the need for a car.

We got off at the Jane station and immediately found a Thai restaurant for lunch. As it was already close to 3pm we were the only lunch patrons and were extremely well taken care of by the attentive staff. I ordered up a Singha beer and Ana went for an ice water and we made a toast to a lovely day in such a remarkable city. After a full load of green curry, pad thai and spring rolls we continued on our walk and explored the many shops along Bloor. I didn't actually explore any shops, instead I like to stand just outside the shop and watch the people and cars go by while Ana hunts for deals and squares off with the merchants. She picked up a fancy water bottle for Stella that had this misting feature where you could spray your face – apparently a hot item with the grade five crowd these days. The afternoon had heated up nicely so we found a gritty little pub on the sunny side of the street just in front of a giant intersection. I ordered up a big pint of cheap Moosehead and inhaled that while we inhaled the car exhaust from the hundreds of vehicles passing by. It made me think about how nice it will be when we are all driving electric, emission-free vehicles and can sit and enjoy a beer in a big city without smelling and tasting the spewn remnants of burnt diesel and gasoline. At times like this, I wonder why we get all wound up about battling climate change, trying to convince people it's the morally right thing to do. Instead, why not just stop burning filthy carbon products because it's bloody disgusting and makes a mess out of the places we live?

We jumped back on the subway and returned to Dufferin where we got into the queue to catch a bus to BMO field for the soccer game. As we waited I learned a nifty trick from a homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk right in the midst of the bus queue. He had a plastic donation cup and he slid it out right in the path of the pedestrians who already had limited space to pass by all the people waiting for the bus. Naturally, every third person accidentally kicked over the cup, scattering the meagre collection of coins across the sidewalk. About half of them would stop and help him collect the coins and then drop some of their own money into the cup, feeling guilty. The other half would scoff at the huckster, knowing damn well what he was up to, and they would continue walking. Too bad the homeless dude couldn't apply his initiative and creativity to an actual job, I think he would do well.

A bus finally arrived and we were drawn into a crush of people jamming into it. Once it was packed to capacity the driver lurched forward and we were on our way. To put it simply, the bus was hot, smelly, and extremely slow due to all the construction delays. At one point, when we were a mile or two from the stadium, and had been at a standstill for ten minutes, a guy on the bus lost it and yelled at the driver to open the door so he could get out and walk. Turns out, it was the best idea of the day and practically every person on the bus followed buddy's lead and hit the pavement to march the remaining distance. As we were halfway there the ear piercing roar of a fighter jet pierced through the sky, but we couldn't see where it was coming from. One of the other walkers yelled, "We're under attack!" and pretended to hit the deck. We would find out later that the day's game was dedicated to the veterans, and the CF-18 fighter jets were there to salute our war heroes.

There is really nothing that compares to the energy of a professional sports game. Toronto FC is a relatively new team to the city, and one that has been having an excellent season and is shooting for the championship. We found our seats, which were high up mid field and offered an excellent view over the entire pitch. Toronto was playing Philadelphia and the game was good, but what was even better was watching the insane supporters behind Philadelphia's goal. Every so often somebody there would ignite a smoke bomb that would first blind the choke the goal keeper with a blanket of thick red smoke, and then spread out and gas the entire stadium. It was quite hilarious.

In the end TFC managed a 2 – 2 tie which was…better than a loss. Ana really loves soccer and she went wild every time FC scored. The game was great fun, especially towards the end when the crazy FC end zone supporters pulled out a giant drum and let the crowd in an "Icelandic Viking Clap", made famous by those crazy Icelanders and their magnificent team during this year's Euro cup. When the game was over, the crowd spilled out into the parking lot and started moving en masse through the exhibition grounds. We walked and walked for a very long time and Ana and I talked and enjoyed being outside and not stuck in a giant traffic jam. As night fell we reached King Street and jumped on a streetcar all the way up to John Street. The streetcars in Toronto are a real pain in the ass when you are a driver - as you often get stuck behind them - but as a passenger they are great fun and almost take you back in time as there don't seem to be a lot of electric streetcar systems still in use in cities. Maybe that's because the last time Toronto did any transportation infrastructure upgrades was back in the roaring 20's.

We walked up John, leisurely checking out the many restaurants and their menus and eventually settled on one which didn't even have a sign, but the patio was loaded with people – always a good indication, unless it's a Hard Rock Café, Hooters or Rain Forest Café. The server crammed us into a small table and served us up some beers from their expansive drink menu. There was a big table of Quebeccers beside us who were loud and funny and effortlessly switched back and forth between English and French all night. Ana and I ordered fancy salads and enjoyed our meal as we talked, watched the many patrons coming and going and also the tourists and locals passing by on the sidewalk. It was a beautifully warm September evening and such a great time to be able to enjoy the city at a leisurely pace, on our own terms, in our own way. I felt very much in love with my wife at that particular moment.

We finished up our meal and, though it was getting on in the night, we weren't ready to call it yet so we walked over to the Cineplex cinema and bought tickets to Star Trek! This particular cinema actually served beer so I dished out twelve bucks for a Stella tall can and enjoyed that while Ana munched her popcorn and diet Coke. The movie was mediocre at best, leading me to believe it's time to put this particular Star Trek reincarnation to rest. But I did mange to stay awake…I think.

By the end of the movie, we were finally done for the day so we jumped on a bus which took us back to the hotel. We considered walking but since Ana's phone was reporting that we had already walked over 20 kilometres during the day, we decided that more exercise was not required.

The next day arrived and after packing up and checking out of the hotel we returned to the Loblaws for coffee and breakfast sandwiches and were not disappointed. Here we discussed our plan for the day. I originally wanted to visit the AGO (Art Gallery of Ontario) or maybe the new Aga Khan Museum but Ana instead talked me into going bra shopping with her. That sounded like a lot of fun. But it really wasn't because she didn't involve me at all. I thought maybe I could help with measurement, cup analysis, closeness of fit, lift judging, handling and ease of removal, but she didn't even let me stay in the bra department after she saw me pick one up and sniff it. So I just waited by the front door and tried to look cool.

By this time we were missing our kiddies so decided to head for home, but we had one last stop to make. We pulled up to Nosso Talho, which in Portuguese I assume means "cheap pork". This is the ultimate Portuguese supermarket and they sell all that weird food I have come to love so much – octopus, pork feet, pork ears, blood sausage, salted cod, little frozen mackerel, and smelly cheeses of all cuts, colours and eye-watering odours. We picked up a few of these goodies, but our main purchase was four huge pork legs with which we would make the winter supply of chorizo sausages with Ana's folks. I had brought along our Yeti cooler but could only fit a single pork leg in there so we laid the rest out in the trunk of the car on plastic bags and I felt like quite the serial killer as I closed the trunk on all that raw flesh and sped away.

Our drive home was fast and smooth and soon we were back in Brantford at John and Maria's house delivering Magic cards, water bottles, pig legs and cod bags and all were overjoyed with their gifts. Although we were only gone for two nights it seemed much longer and we were very happy to see the kids and tell them all about our adventures.

And thus ends the weekend of our 15th wedding anniversary.