Three weeks before the start of our trip, I was summoned
by my wife to the spare room to start packing.
Since our marriage, I have relinquished all packing responsibility to
Ana, as she completely rejects my traditional packing system (developed and
perfected in the bachelor days), which is to assemble your requirements exactly
one half hour before leaving for the airport, usually in a state of
hangover. If you can’t find a suitable
luggage, it’s perfectly fine to use a plastic grocery bag, just make sure you
tie the handles together so nothing falls out.
Now the rationale behind this is simple – when you are packing under
pressure, you will ensure that you get everything you need for the
trip. Packing in advance of this only
results in over thinking your requirements and trying to take along everything
you could ever want. But like many other
bacheloral standard operating procedures, I’ve found that in marriage it’s
better to just give up and give in, so you can get back to watching tv instead
of scrapping with your wife and save yourself a whole lot of stress in the
process.
One of the decisions I was asked to make was which shoes
to take. Now Ana had run every possible Azorean
social circumstance she was likely to encounter through her mind and come up
with the exact five pairs of shoes she would need to satisfy the
requirements. The way I saw it, the
majority of the time would be spent drinking and eating with family, and I
could definitely remain shoeless for that.
Getting to and from the airport would require some sort of foot wear, as
would any serious walking excursions. I
wasn’t planning on attending any formal occasions, so my requirements boiled
down to one pair of running shoes and one pair of sandals. I only have one pair of running shoes, so
that was easy. I own several pairs of
sandals so I now had to narrow those down to the right pair. I wanted to take my Pakistani chappals, but
Ana said they were too heavy for the luggage.
Another pair I have are quite comfortable, but often fall off when
walking, plus they make me trip, so those were out. Flip flops are okay, but not good for longer
strolls, because of that plastic stopper between the big toe and second toe
which will eventually slice through your skin like cheese. So I was left with my all time favourite,
multi-purpose, twenty dollar, ten year old Payless Shoes sandals. They were comfortable for walking, airy,
broken in, proven effective, and in the past, had got me through everything
from wedding receptions to all night drinking parties to concrete work to
soccer games to ten mile jogs. When I
found them in the garage they were caked in mud from the last building project
we did in our backyard, but Ana did agree to wash them and give them an
inspection, which they somehow miraculously passed, though I had to do a lot of
convincing. I did know that the Velcro
fasteners were full of fuzz and didn’t really work anymore, some of the
threading was coming out, and they were pretty close to falling apart
completely, but I figured they had at least another 18 months of life left in
them.
Well, yesterday, my sandals were declared dead. On the way home Magnus was convinced I had
stepped in bird poo, so I had to show him the bottom of my shoes to prove this
was not so. The left one looked fine,
but there was definitely something wrong with the right one – half the sole had
disintegrated. That explained that
strange hollow feeling I was starting to feel in the middle of the shoe, plus
the small bits of rubber tia Ana had been finding on the floors. Fortunately, this was a simple fix, once we
arrived back at tia Ana’s house she got me some masking tape and six winds
later the sole was successfully repacked and reattached to the sandal, and they
actually stayed on better too so I thought the problem was solved. Well, Ana banned the sandals from leaving the
house, though I was still allowed to play soccer with them, although I must
admit feeling a bit of doubt creep into my mind when, after a huge kick, my
left sandal flew off and nearly cleared the fence into the neighbour’s yard,
which is inhabited by three vicious dogs who would have eaten it.
After this I pleaded with Ana, “Please don’t turn this
into a shopping mission. I know what
you’re like, you’re going to drag us to the shops and force me to buy new
sandals. I don’t want new sandals. I’ll just wear my running shoes, I really
don’t care. Honestly.”
We spend a nice evening back at tia Ana’s house and I tested out the new footwear in a rollicking soccer match in the backyard. I did lose by one goal, but the sandals stayed on my feet the entire match so it was a great success.
No comments:
Post a Comment