Exploring Royal Island – Ruins, Berry Poisoning, a Giant Conch, and Fresh Lobster For Dinner

Royal Island, Eleuthera – 1 mile in dinghy, 2 kilometres walked, 1 kilometre paddled, 500 metres snorkelled, 3 lobsters, 1 conch

We had a full day to consume before the anticipated storm arrived later tonight so we got started with a big breakfast of eggs, sausages, sweet fried plantains, grapefruit, and juice. Dave had gone for an early paddleboard ride to scope out the anchorage and shoreline and had found some things of interest for us to all check out.

After breakfast we loaded ourselves into the dinghy and eased across to the shore. Royal Island is privately owned with a small resort on the south-west end, but there was nobody around to ask permission to explore, so we tied the dinghy to an old and battered concrete pier and went for a walk. After ascending a weathered concrete staircase through thick bush we walked into a ruin of what looked to be an old hotel, loaded with small bats that burst out and circled around us as we explored the various stone buildings, some with collapsed roofs, others with large trees rooted into the walls.

We carried our snorkelling gear as we walked a trail leading to the other side of the island, hoping to find a reef. Instead we found a small, abandoned harbour, with sea grass and plastic littering the shoreline and a small boat with fishermen casting their lines into the water. Ana found a rubber ducky on the shore, washed it off, then stuck it into her pocket. Dave found a beaten hard hat, excellent for alternate use as a mushroom foraging bucket or possibly an improvised beach bidet in a pinch. But no suitable reef.

On the way back Kira and Dave analyzed the foliage as we went, scanning trees and plants and shrubberies, far more interested in the greenery than Ana or I usually are. They spotted a fruit tree and we pulled off some small oranges, which were later used to add a touch of tangy citrus flavour to our gin and tonics. They spotted a large termite home and I did what all ten year old boys do – poke it with a stick then throw rocks at it. Kira found a tree sprouting berries and plucked one off, mashed it with her foot, smelled it, then passed it to me, which I rubbed into my fingers and sniffed. I held it up close to Dave's nose for him to sniff it too. Ana googled it. Poisonberry, highly toxic. We washed our hands in the ocean then back at the boat with soap. Good thing I didn’t lick my fingers or stick them in any body cavities.

We constructed magnificent chili dogs for lunch with the leftover veggie chili, which had only improved with time. Dave the Explorer went back out on the paddleboard to find a snorkelling site and surprised us by returning with a giant and beautiful conch, by far the largest of the trip. I demonstrated conch cleaning technique and wished I had planted a hidden camera to capture Kira’s expression when I removed the giant slug from the shell. Shock and awe. Maybe a bit of revulsion. Certainly surprise. Dave was thrilled when I offered him the six-inch long jelly tube from the conch. He opted to chew it into pieces, relishing the flavour, instead of sucking it down whole in one go. This would likely accelerate the jelly tube's aphrodisiac properties, bringing on the Midnight War Hammer earlier than expected. I kept my distance and warned the girls to do the same.

The ladies floated in the dinghy while Dave and I snorkelled, as the approaching cold front had dropped temperatures and rendered the swimming a bit cool. While the visibility was not great, the snorkelling was excellent near the abandoned jetty where thousands of fish had gathered including a swarming school of minnows that remained still as you swam above them, and a huge hermit crab that had taken over a conch shell and was busy feasting on a dead conch from a shell beside it.

I circled further out and found a series of large coral heads, the third of which was home to no fewer than four lobsters and one big moray eel. I called Dave over so we could double team the catch and we were able to tickle-extract three of the spiny beauties, leaving the last one (she was just a teenager), and the eel, as who wants to skin and eat an eel.

A magnificent nacho plate was constructed and eaten as a post-lunch, pre-dinner snack, then we moved onto the main feast of garlic-baked lobster tails, kale salad, and fried eggplant as the 80’s playlist streamed in the cabin and the winds started to build.