I joined the ladies for a shopping expedition today and lasted longer than I expected. I generally wait patiently in front of clothing stores as the womenfolk browse, but today I participated actively in search of new shorts at the Value Village on Queen Street. I had to make a game of it to keep myself entertained so I browsed the entire section of mens shorts and separated six pairs I liked and thought may pass muster. Next, I found Stella and had her rank them by rearranging them on the rack in sequence of most desirable to least. I then had her friend Anna do the same. The rankings changed somewhat and I was able to disqualify two of the pairs - one for stains and busted zippers and the other for insufficient pocket capacity. I was left with a suave red pair, a sturdy caramel pair, and a shockingly beautiful pair of camo shorts.
Last up was Ana's review, which is final and non-appealable.
"What do you think of the camo shorts?" I asked enthusiasticaly, raising and lowering my eyebrows.
"Are you joking?" she said.
"Oh. Uh, okay. What about the other two?" I said as a tear fell from my left eye and left a dark and sad dot on the camo fabric.
"They're pretty good."
The camo shorts went back on the rack and I bought the other two then immediately left the store and stood outside waiting. As I watched Queen Street pedestrian and vehicular traffic like it was the opening scene of a Netflix series, a homeless man approached me.
"Is that yours?" he asked, looking between me and something around the corner of the wall I was leaning against.
"What?" I asked.
"That," he said pointing to something on top of the bank of apartment buzzers. I turned to follow the line of his finger and saw a mickey of Canadian Club, with a warm swallow or two left in the bottom.
"No sir," I said. "It's all yours my man."
"Damn!" he exclaimed triumphantly as he grabbed the bottle, smiled at me, then continued walking with a renewed spring in his step. I watched as he opened the cap and sucked out the remaining whiskey then put his hands in the air, and pumped them triumphantly. It was a great start to the day for everybody.
The next stop was a sort of variety store/joke shop combination. They had a basket of human organs in plush stuffie doll form. The four of us were intrigued as we picked up organs, admiring the shapes and colouring, refamiliarizing ourselves with grade 10 biology lessons on human anatomy. There was a gall bladder, a kidney, a heart, a colon, an ovary, a prostate, a strangely grotesque eyeball, a testicle, and a clitoris, whose shape completely confounded me and I couldn't tell which way was up or down or if I was looking at the front or back. Ana made me put it down when the other shoppers started looking at me funny. I wasn't willing to spend the thirty-five bucks on it anyway, but I did find a keychain that had a tiny model of the entire female reproductive path from the ovaries to the vulva. That one was only twelve bucks. But I wasn't allowed to buy it. I might sneak back there tomorrow and get it to put in Magnus's Christmas stocking as a helpful guide to female physiology. It's what good dads do.
After a few more stores and a stroll through Graffiti Alley I was rewarded for my shopping experimentation with a falafel sandwich, then I headed back to the boat and left the experts to continue, as it was clear I was holding them back as I'd completed my retail mission. I think I may no longer have been welcome anyway after I asked Stella and Anna if they wanted to join their Clone Army queuing in front of the Brandy Melville store.
On the way back I found an unoccupied Adirondack chair in the leafy park across from Marina Four and sat down to enjoy a calm moment on a beautiful Monday afternoon. I knew that my life of leisure was soon coming to an end and future Monday afternoons would be spent in front of a computer screen instead of a beautiful waterfront, so I relished the time.
My last stop was to pick up some wine and a few cans of crafty IPAs for my cousin Josh (I would learn later that due to some strange bodily rejection he no longer drinks these so I guess I'll have to take care of them) and his wife Kaja who would be joining us for dinner.
Back at the marina I joined the Lydia/Daryl Collective for a beverage and lovely visit at the waterfront firepit then returned to the boat to prep some food for supper.
Josh and Kaja arrived shortly after 6 and we had an amazing visit with them. It had been years since we'd seen them so there was much to catch up. We sat in SeaLight's cockpit chatting for hours to the faint sounds of the Scissor Sisters and Ke$ha concert happing at the Budweiser Stage, just barely within earshot. Stella and Anna disappeared in the dinghy and parked themselves in the bay close to the venue to steal some sonic pleasure.
We finished the evening with a drink at the club firepit around a sturdy blaze and a strangely chilly wind. Josh and Kaja pledged to make a weekend trip to Paris to hang out with us one weekend this fall or winter. Yesss!
The Daryl/Lydia Collective arrived just as Josh and Kaja were leaving so we stayed up a while longer and watched the fire burn down as we visited. Little Zach was somehow still awake despite the hour closing in on midnight. Party animal!
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