July 10 – The Holriques Meet Toy Boy

It was time to say goodbye to Bangtao. The driver picked us up at 9 am and as we were driving away I asked Ana when she thought we’d be back. She said she never imagined we would have returned so quickly after our previous visit.

Our idea for the trip was to spend a couple of days getting over the time difference before beginning our boat charter. So far, results have been mixed. Most of the crew has been having trouble sleeping through the night. In fact I think only Magnus and Stella are completely on track with their sleep. Angela has been living through Zombie Hour every night, starting at 1 am and the rest of us to a lesser extent. I have been doing quite well, better than last time I think. But still, it makes me wonder how all those people that do shift work, flipping back and forth between day and night shifts, manage to adjust to the hours. It is certainly not for me.

The man in the van drove us to the Tesco Lotus supermarket, which is just as large and well stocked as a Superstore or Loblaws back home. The ladies took the lead with the shopping list we constructed the night before, making adjustments as required. One cool item they found was this huge platter that contained all the ingredients needed for a stir fry – veggies, sauces, tofu, and even a bit of chicken, but not nearly enough to satisfy the standard meat content of a typical Canadian meal so we supplemented with a couple of bags of chicken pieces. While the ladies were doing that, Tony I went to scope out the alcohol section. With horror, we discovered that the entire section had been roped off, and there was a sign hanging there advising us that the Buddhist prohibition policy was indeed over, but they did not allow alcohol sales until 11 am. That meant an hour and a half to wait. We tried talking to a few staff to see if they could make an exception for clueless foreigners, but all they did was point to the sign. In the end, it didn’t really matter as the grocery shopping lasted until 10:30 anyway. But man, did we feel deprived, and I’m sure we looked real dumb too standing there in front of the roped-off booze with puppy dog eyes.

We loaded the supplies in the van, and the man in the van drove us to the marina. Along the way Magnus announced that our new team name was the “Holriques”, a combination of the family surnames. The suggestion was met with warm approval.

While the others began loading up the dock buggies I walked up to the Elite Yachting office, met with Mellissa whom we knew from our last charter, and got the paperwork and briefing done, alongside an English couple who were chartering a monohulled sailboat as part of their honeymoon. Tony and I then went down to the catamaran for a full review of the boat systems while the rest of the gang had lunch at the marina restaurant. By 2pm we were all on the boat and I was at the helm taking Toy Boy out of the marina and out to sea. It was quite a feeling being at the controls of such a magnificent vessel.

Toy Boy was a 40’ Lagoon catamaran, with four bedrooms, two full bathrooms with separate showers, an electricity generator, water maker, two refrigerators, bbq, range, oven, a dingy with outboard motor, a two-person sea kayak, and plenty of space, so we weren’t hurting for much. Mellissa had told us the owner of this boat was a fine looking Spanish lady, who couldn’t seem to find the right man in her life, though she went through plenty. She decided to buy a boat to fill this void in her life, hence the name.

We put out the sails shortly after leaving the marina and she sailed just fine, but it was going to take a while to get used to her and figure out all the boat systems. We sailed for about two hours to reach the north-east side of Ko Phanak, where Mellissa had told us we’d find an interesting cave. There were several tourist boats anchored just off the beach already, so we got anchored and then did two trips with the dingy to transport the crew to the beach. Using the flashlight we grabbed off the boat we entered the dark cave. We started making our way through the cave but the flashlight was either undercharged, or simply a piece of junk as it was hardly throwing any light. Fortunately there was a tourist group near us so we took advantage of their light and walked through, at least some of us did – the others got a little freaked out and headed back. As we shuffled through the darkness of the cave, the Thai guides that we met on their way out would whisper “Anaconda!” or “Crocodile!” as they pointed to the dark water ahead that we were wading through. That was more than sufficient to send Magnus scurrying for the entrance.

The cave was probably 50 metres in length, and at the end it opened up into an unbelievable hong, which is the name for the hollowed out centres of many of the islands here. Because we were at low tide it was completely drained of water, leaving a sandy surface that you could walk on. Looking up, you saw blue sky but it felt as if you were in the middle of a volcano shaft as the limestone walls shot straight up, perfectly vertical, with trees and plants clinging to their edges. It was beyond stunning, and got even more interesting when Ana spotted little walking fish slithering around in the muddy parts, amidst the crazy mangrove trees. It was nearly impossible to believe that within six hours there would be over seven feet of water filling the cave and hong. But that is indeed how ocean tides work.

We walked back through the cave with our junky flashlight and I managed to smash my head into one of the very low parts of the cave roof when I didn’t duck enough, drawing blood – the first of the trip I believe. As I was clutching my head, Angela, who was at the front of the pack, suddenly began frantically waving her hands around and screaming. Now when you are in a dark cave and once person starts screaming, you better believe everybody around them is sure to join in, so there we were screaming like a bunch of school girls, but not knowing exactly why. Someone shrieked, “What is it??”

Angela said, “A bat!” Well that didn’t do much to calm anybody down.

We made it back out to the beach alive and dingy’d back to the boat to grab a few iPhones flashlights, so that the rest of the group could go in and have a look. We kept the bat incident a secret so as not to scare them away from experiencing the beauty of the hong.

From here we sailed the mile and a half over to our first anchorage for the night – Hong Island. It is a stunning spot between two islands with the vertical rock walls shooting up, giving you the feeling you are completely enclosed. Most of us went for a swim, and the current was very strong due to the tide rushing out. Fortunately, there was a great deal of leftovers from lunch, so we ate those for dinner, saving ourselves having to prepare much of anything.

As darkness fell we went for another swim, but this time whenever one of us jumped in or splashed, the water would light up briefly with blue sparkles from the phosphorescents in the ocean, creating quite the show. Magnus also added to the effect by flashing his laser pointer on the vertical rock wall creating some interesting green patterns and making us guess the words he was writing on the rock with the pointer.

By 9 pm everybody was shattered, so we all headed off to our bunks and readied ourselves for our first night on the water.

July 9 – Phuket Circle Tour

My eyes snapped open and I was sure it was eight in the morning so I checked the time - 1:30 am. The Zombie hour was upon me. I knew I shouldn’t have taken that afternoon nap yesterday. I rolled around in bed for an hour and then admitted defeat and got up. There was not much else to do besides write so that’s what I did to pass the hours.


I walked down to the lobby at six and was soon joined by Mac who was quite sure he’d picked up a touch of heat stroke the previous day, so was thinking of taking a pass on the car trip we had planned for today. Soon the rest of the Henriques appeared, all of whom had woken up in the middle of the night. Damn, and I thought we already had this time difference licked.

After eating we packed up our day bags, squeezed in the car, and took off. Tony was in front acting as lead navigator and I was at the wheel, but in order to survive in this driving environment I had to get my crazy face on, so I flashed back in time to my first experience with driving around insane people – Karachi, Pakistan. I learned that unless you drive as ruthless and aggressive as those that surround you, you are sure to get mowed down.

Our first stop was the beach town of Patong, known to be the sleaze capital of Phuket. But arriving in the early morning, it appeared to be anything but sleazy. We found a parking spot near the beach and took a long walk down the sandy shores, with Magnus chasing down every sand crab he could find. This was the hottest day of the trip so far as the clouds had parted and we had full, intense sunshine. We found a giant Patong sign and did the obligatory photo shoot. These things are such fantastic marketing tools for a tourist destination. You know that every single person who visits and takes a photo in front of the sign posts it to their social media pages. It makes me wonder why we don’t have one in Paris or Brantford.

By this time many of the shops were opening up so we spent at least an hour dipping in and out of them and perusing the merchandise. Stella was looking at iPad cases, fidget spinners and clothes while Magnus focused in on weaponry, finding a lovely set of brass knuckles for 400 baht. He negotiated hard but could not get the vendor down to what he was willing to pay. He didn’t even bother negotiating on the taser.

From Patong we continued down the western coast, making several wrong turns and exploring all sorts of interesting dead ends, but we were not in a big rush so we just enjoyed the scenery. We passed through Karin and Kata beaches, winding up and down, shaking up the stomachs of the backseat passengers, but fortunately nobody got too car sick. We settled on the southern town of Rawai for lunch, but first we got parked and then did a walk through the fish market, where the vendors had tanks full of live giant prawns, lobsters, squid, and fishes of all varieties. There were also some fresh fruit vendors, and on the sneak I picked up a nice slab of durian, a fruit that we sadly did not try the last time we were, but I was determined to make that right.

We had lunch at a cool little beachside restaurant called Nikitas. At the end of the meal I whipped out the durian treat but it received a very cool reception from my comrades. Durians smell truly awful, sort of a mixture of garbage and sewage but, like strong cheeses, smells can be deceiving, and I always say that if there are 100 million people who love a certain type of foul smelling or foul looking food, then there must be something to it. I cracked out the durian and the non-heavenly odour erupted, further diminishing the chances that anybody else would be joining me. I took a spoon and dug out a creamy chunk of the fruit and stuck it in my mouth. It was not bad, not bad at all. Strong, yes, and definitely an unfamiliar flavor, but it was pretty good. After seeing this both Stella and Magnus agreed to try it. I gave Stella a small spoonful and she instantly began gagging and spit it out on the street. Magnus then tried a bit and did actually get it down, but was quick to grab the water bottle. “Any more takers?” I asked. Of course, my main man Tony suddenly appeared with three plastic forks, and he dug in. Angela wasn’t interested, but she did grab her phone and take a photo of us enjoying this fine Asian delicacy. Bucket list item 85 – check.

Our next destination was the Big Buddha – a giant statue on top of what looked like the largest mountain in Phuket. We had visited this site previously and the Henriques were keen to check it out. The drive up the mountain was of course twisty and turny, and along the way we saw quite a number of elephants at the various tourist stops. The views from the top of the mountain are outstanding and one can see far out into the ocean and over the harbor of nearby Phuket town. The Buddha site itself is still under construction, and didn’t appear to be much more finished than when we visited three years earlier.

We had one more stop to make. Located in the far north-east corner of the island was the Yacht Haven Marina, home to Elite Yachting – purveyors of fine catamaran charters. It took quite a long time to navigate all the way up the island due to traffic congestion, red lights, road construction, and a few bad turns, but we eventually made it. The marina had been completely rebuilt since we last visited and it was amazing. The marina itself is designed for very large boats, so many of the yachts looked to be over a hundred feet long. We didn’t have a lot of time, as the car had to be back by 5 pm, so we had a quick look at our vessel, named “Toy Boy”. The catamaran we rented previously was 36’ long and this one, at 40’, looked much, much larger. This was going to be fun.

We made it back to Bangtao at 5:09, just slightly late, but considering we took about ten wrong turns we still made pretty good time. Driving around Bangtao is simply confounding, and it seems there are at least a dozen different routes we can take back to the hotel. After this sweltering day of driving we all jumped into the pool for a lovely swim. The only exception was Ana, who had picked up Magnus’ rotten cold, so she spent the time lying down in the room trying to recuperate. She and Magnus have a special bond. Every time he gets sick, she catches it.

Tony, Magnus, Stella and I goofed around in the pool for a long time, and enjoyed a few drinks at the swim up bar. Even though it was Buddha Lent, and the island was still on booze lockdown, the hotel was okay with serving its guests alcohol, and we were okay drinking it.

For dinner, we returned to the beachside restaurant we dined at the first night and had another lovely feeding. During dinner, we put together a meal plan and shopping list for the boat trip as we planned to stop at the grocery store on the way to the marina to get all the provisions we would need, and wanted to get in and out of there as fast as possible. There are not going to be many dining options while we are out on the water so will be making nearly all of our meals on the boat.

After dinner, we returned to the hotel and Tony and I shared the last beer I had stashed away in my mini fridge. He also ordered up a couple glasses of scotch, which provided a fine finish to a fine day indeed.

July 8 – First Full Day in Phuket

The first few days of our last sojourn to SE Asia was a little challenging for me. I used to cope with time difference easily when traveling internationally, but I seem to have lost my skill in this area as I kept waking up at two in the morning and could not go back to sleep, which went on for nearly a week, and required the use of afternoon naps which I truly hate and make me feel awful after I wake up. Well imagine my surprise this trip when I fell asleep at 10 pm the previous night and slept straight through to 5 am, avoiding what I call the “zombie hour”. Let’s hope I can maintain this schedule.

I awoke quietly with little fanfare, grabbed my laptop and headed down to the hotel lobby to write some journals and enjoy the dawn experience on the first real day of our trip. From what we saw yesterday, the Chivatera is a fantastic hotel. We got rooms beside each other at floor level, four steps and a giant leap away from the pool. Although we were told the hotel is nearly full, it was extremely quiet last night and in fact seemed to be nearly deserted.

I returned to the room around 7:30 and found everybody up and Ana already showered and nearly ready to go. The kids were lounging around in the room and had started writing their journals. Call me cruel, but every time we take a long vacation I ask the kids to do a daily journal. For me, it’s a way for them to not just practice their writing, but also to create something that will be very interesting for them to read far into the future, and to be able to look back and see themselves through a young set of eyes. This year they were complaining about having to do the journal, so we told them it doesn’t have to be a log of what you did each day; instead they can draw a picture, write a poem, list out some interesting words they learned, write a short story, pretty much anything as long as they are at least doing something creative. Since it is their vacation too we don’t want them getting anxious about this daily deliverable, or feel it’s ruining their fun, and we certainly don’t want to be pestering them. So we’ll see how it goes.

Together we returned to the lobby for breakfast and found a pretty good selection of food. Our typical routine in the past has been to find hotels or guesthouses that include breakfast so that we can have a big meal in the morning, a small lunch - usually soup bowls, street food or fruit, and then go out for an evening meal. It’s a good way to keep the costs down, which is always a consideration when on such a long trip. There were many other people having breakfast, the vast majority of whom looked to be Chinese tourists, so maybe the hotel was full after all. As we were finishing, we saw a huge bus pull up in front of the hotel and dozens of people piled into it, leaving us once again all alone in the hotel.

After breakfast we left the hotel and went for a walk along the beach. The tide was now up and most of the beach had been consumed by water, making it look very unlike the previous night when the tide was quite far out. The first thing we encountered was a long line of debris across the top of the beach, pushed up by the waves. Plastic bottles, glass bottles, caps, rope, packaging and all sorts of other garbage not easily consumed by the ocean was strewn about. Seeing this always shatters our expectation of finding clean, unspoiled beaches, but is an important reminder of just how much garbage gets dumped into the oceans. The stretches of beach in front of the resorts were, of course, clean and beautiful, but the public areas were polluted by litter. Disappointing, yes, and yet tucked inside our day bag was a big, plastic litre bottle of water, which may itself be headed for the ocean once we consume the product inside. So what is one to think of that?

We continued down the beach as far as we could go but were stopped but a small river that had cut a deep channel into the sand and made it impossible to cross with getting submerged. We considered building a raft from all of the debris on the beach but none of us were in a Robinson Crusoe mood quite yet. We retraced our steps and somebody pointed to some trees in the distance, wondering what the giant pods were. Hanging from the trees were large, cocoon shaped objects that were probably large enough to hold a person. Torture chambers? Jail cells? Alien cocoons? Cheese hangers? Nobody knew, and sadly, we didn’t ask anybody what they were, so the mystery remains.  (Fast Forward Explanation – we found out the next day that these are actually just cool, modern light fixtures whose function did not extend beyond being esthetically pleasing). We cut through the Arinara Resort, which is where we stayed the last time we were in this area, and walked out to the road that runs parallel to the beach and sports a string of shops. Tony and I found a table to sit at while the rest of the gang browsed through the shops. The temperature was very nice and though it was humid, it was not uncomfortable. We continued down the road and Mackenzie burst out of a shop with terrible news. Due to some sort of Buddhist religious holiday, all alcohol sales were banned! Now this seemed very strange to me, as I’d never heard of such a thing and Phuket, as the party capital of Thailand, is fueled by booze.

We asked several shop keepers and the consensus seemed to be that you could not buy alcohol anywhere today, Sunday, and maybe even Monday, which was indeed going to be a problem because Monday is when we began our catamaran charter and a not insignificant portion of the provisions was expected to be products containing alcohol. Our first backpacker dilemma, but one in which I was sure we’d find a solution, and one that hopefully did not include teetotaling our way through Phang Nga bay on a luxury yacht.

We walked back to the hotel and all jumped the pool for an extended swim and to enjoy the sun that was now burning its way through the cloud cover. As it is the monsoon season there are always a lot of clouds and you can expect it to rain most days, but it is never a full day of rain – usually just an intense shower or two in the evenings and occasionally during the day. The hotel was still completely deserted so we enjoyed it like it was our own. Between the pool loungers, mixed nut snacks, magazines and pool games, this was sure starting to feel like a vacation.

The kids grabbed some cash and went down to the shops to get us lunch. It was time to introduce the Henriques to the incredible Asian soup bowl. These are the ready to eat noodle bowls that you dump hot water into and are rewarded with an instant meal. But the ones you get in Asia are ten times better than the crappy ones at home as they include two or three “flavor packs” thatn you crack open and dump into the soup. The kids also picked up a small bunch of overripe bananas to add some food group diversity into our backpacker lunch, but I think we need to teach the kids how to colour identify bananas that are ready to eat, from the ones that are ready to be stuffed into the freezer and await their fate as an essential banana bread component, which rarely happens, but it just seems like the right thing to do.

Mac and Maddy had been looking at the scooter and car rentals and proposed to the team that we rent scooters to do some exploring. We thought on the idea for a while and suggested to the group that we avoid the scooters, knowing from our previous visit how hazardous the driving can be here, but also how tricky it is navigating the many winding roads and crazy intersections, which would make keeping a group of scooters together difficult, especially with inexperienced riders. So instead we decided to get a car, and managed to find a small SUV that actually fit all eight of us! In less than ten minutes we had selected a car, negotiated a price, completed the paperwork, paid for the vehicle, and were sitting in the car, buckled into our seats. The nice Thai lady who rented us the car leaned in the window and said, in way of detailed briefing, “Drive on the left.” That was all we needed to know. We actually did ask her how to get to this cool looking market we saw the previous afternoon. She told us it was called Boat Avenue, and then laughed, made a few twisty movements with her hand and walked off. We were on our own.

Boat Avenue had been jammed with vendors, restaurants and people last night when we passed it, so we thought it would be an appropriate first destination to visit. We drove down the single lane road, dodging scooters, children, people carrying bags, other cars, tree branches, and frequent street cats and dogs, and completely missed the turn we were supposed to make, so I let instinct take over and just drove around hoping to get lucky. We passed one house and saw a monkey with a giant, bald bum climbing on the roof, which was rather unexpected. We sized him up and decided he wasn’t going to fit into the monkey butler uniform we had bought in advance of the trip, so decided to keep looking for a better specimen.

We ended up completely missing our intended destination, but we did get onto the ocean road and drove south for a while, getting a feel for the driving and trying to find our bearings. We stopped at a lookout point over a beautiful beach and snapped a lovely group selfie, or at least what I thought was a magnificent photo until somebody pointed out that I had completely cut off Stella.

Ana managed to get the GPS working on her phone which lead us back to Bangtao and directly to Boat Avenue. We parked the car and did a leisurely walk around the area, which was indeed full of shops and restaurants, but not nearly as many people as the previous day. We would find out later that there had been a special night market on Friday, which is why it was so packed when we passed by. We found a grocery store and discovered that the alcohol restriction would end at midnight Sunday so this was great news for our catamaran provisioning plan as we had arranged for a van to take us all to a grocery store on Monday morning on the way to the boat, which we get at noon. There was great happiness all around.

We settled on a neat little kebab shop for dinner and ordered up a variety of dishes. As Mac was eating he spotted a spider crawling out from beneath a piece of lettuce on his plate. I could tell he was getting into the backpacker groove when he simply flicked it off his plate and kept on eating.

Poor Magnus was so tired he was falling asleep with his face in his hands, so we moved him over to a comfy bench where he properly fell asleep. Tony saw his opportunity for revenge and started piling up table scraps like bottle caps, tooth picks and sugar packs on his forehead while he slept. It didn’t seem to bother him.
With that we drove back to Bangtao and everybody was in bed before 10 pm, capping off a relaxing, yet moderately adventurous day.

July 7 – Arrival in Phuket

We arrived in Manila around 5:15am and had nearly four hours to wait so we hung around in the transfer lounge, drank coffee, charged up devices, and the phone wielders (which I just realized is everybody except for me – I left mine at home, with great happiness) connected to the free wifi and did some internetting. Our friend David collects airline vomit bags and those safety procedure cards that are found in the seat pocket in front of you, so Ana swiped a set of those from the plane and sent David a photo of the spoils. He was virtually delighted.

We will be stopping in Manila for one night on the way back home so will get a chance to see a bit of the city then, but for now we were limited to the pleasure of looking through the terminal windows at the giant blanket of smog over the city in the distance. I rarely experience boredom, but I will admit I was overcome by boredom in that lounge. There just wasn’t much to do, so I did a bit of writing for a while, walked some laps up and down the terminal, read for a bit, and so on. I think the others were bored too. Mackenzie, in his spare time, was doing some research on the bathrooms and found that all three toilets flushed automatically, in perfect synchronicity, with great vigor – throwing water up onto the toilet seat, the wall, and any bystanders. This happened every 6 minutes. I’m thinking maybe Mac shares my intense interest in the bathroom habits and toilet culture of foreigners – perhaps we can compare notes at the end of the trip. Tony was so bored he let Magnus rope him into a game of Magic – the card game Magnus has been absolutely consumed by the past couple of years. It involves dice and cards that represent monsters, demons, werewolves, spells, artifacts, powers, zombies and lands, and you battle each other until a victor emerges, which is always Magnus, because he’s the only one who understands the rules (or perhaps makes them up as he goes). The only time anybody else wins is when he lets you win, thinking it may entice you into playing another game. I felt sorry for Tony, but I did warn him not to express any interest if Magnus mentioned the word “Magic”. I guess that’s what boredom can push a man to.

Finally, finally, the time arrived to board so we lined up and waited patiently. There was some sort of confusion at the check in gate, which delayed the departure and prolonged our agony, but eventually we made it onto the plane, got settled, and before long they were putting food on our tray tables. I was sitting beside Stella and during the flight she finished reading the story I had written for her and had a hundred questions on why things happened the way they did, and why people were the way they were and, most importantly, when I was going to write part two. I am glad she liked it.

We landed in Bangkok with about three hours to spare before our connecting flight to Phuket. Bangkok’s largest international airport, Suvarnabhumi, is massive, new and a major transport hub for the region so is always jammed full of people. Since our flight to Phuket was with another carrier we had to go through immigration here, collect our bags, and then re-check in. We reached the immigration queue and were number 37,891st in line. Although this airport was new and expertly designed, it was clear that whoever they hired to design this part of the facility was the same guy who did work at Toronto’s Pearson airport - what a scoundrel. As we steeled our nerves and started mentally preparing for the long wait ahead, Tony disappeared and Angela was wondering where he had gone. I told her he was probably looking for a Nexus line, which is Canadian/American program for expediting pre-cleared passengers. This had allowed the Henrique family to bypass the security queue in Toronto, leaving the non-Nexus card holding Olsons to languish with the rest of the commoners. Well, I was right, and I’m ashamed to admit that I felt a sick sort of satisfaction as Tony returned to the line, unsuccessful in his search. Misery loves company, they say.

We made it through, collected our bags (which had all arrived, gracias a Dios) and after navigating through a chaotic seriew of moving sidewalks, hallways and escalators, we checked in with Thai Smiles airline. The ladies had cleverly done a web check in for us while they waited in the immigration line, which allowed us to use a shorter queue and get checked in faster. We proceeded through a surprisingly short security queue and walked to the departure gate. The strain of the travel was starting to show, and it reached a crescendo when Angela announced, after doing some tricky mental gymnastics, that our friends and family had enjoyed two full night’s sleep while we had been in transit, and we were headed towards a door to door travel time of about 36 hours.

The flight was delayed by about 30 minutes, but we finally got the call to board and were shuffled into a bus that drove us out to the last airplane of the trip. We got seated and as soon as my butt hit the cushion I was out, and did not actually wake up until the wheels were touching down in Phuket. I hope Ana remembered to grab a vomit bag for David.

Our arrival in Phuket was remarkably fast and soon we had collected our bags, hired a taxi van, and were onto the final leg of the journey. Until this point, we had barely breathed any non-airport air so it felt great to suck in that humid, tropical oxygen and realize that we were almost at the finish line.

After about 25 minutes of navigating through winding roads and villages, passing by shops, houses, rubber tree plantations, and a thousand motorbikes and scooters, we screeched to a halt in front of the Chivatara Bangtao resort. Our motley crue of travelers looked completely shattered and I don’t think the realization that we had actually arrived began to sink in until we had been shown to our rooms, dumped the baggage, and stepped back out to admire the gorgeous pool, view of the forested mountains, and the image of Tony leaping into the pool after an incredibly fast change into his swimsuit.

Bangtao is a place we know quite well as we spent nearly a week here the last time we visited Thailand, so we gathered everybody up and walked down to the beach to take advantage of the remaining few minutes of light. It was just awesome, and felt so familiar. Everybody kicked off their sandals and walked into the water to feel those warm, ocean waves splashing up against their legs. We were finally here and man, did it feel like we had earned it.

We settled in for dinner at the cute little ocean side restaurant located at the end of the beach. We ordered up a round of drinks that included Chang and Singha beers, fruit smoothies, and soda pops, and did a giant toast to our arrival. We all ordered Thai dishes and it was delicious, although the Tom Yung soup ordered by Maddie and Magnus was exceptionally spicy, so they had trouble finishing it, but did not have any trouble at all with the ice cream and crème brulee for dessert. While we were waiting for the bill, Tony found a nice comfy chair and fell asleep with his head back. At the same moment Magnus arrived back in the restaurant after scavenging around on the nearby rocks and was carrying what looked like a giant hermit crab. After showing off his catch he noticed Tony in victim position and went over, preparing to drop the crab into his mouth. Tony could sense trouble so woke up and closed his mouth, thereby foiling Magnus’ plan.

The food and beer gave me a second wind and I was feeling damn good after the meal, hardly tired at all. We walked back to the hotel, but along the way stopped at the 7-11 to pick up some drinks and snacks, and also at a fruit vendor so the Henriques could see some of the local fruit we’d be sampling in the days ahead – rambutan, mangosteens and the infamous durian fruit, the champion stinker of Southeast Asia. Magnus and I had made a solemn pact to eat fresh durian during this trip, but that was not going to happen this night.

Somehow the crew mustered enough energy for a swim, so suits were donned and we spent a glorious time in the pool, washing off the funk of so many hours of travel and capping off what was by far the longest single travel “day” of our lives. I felt very proud of all the kids as they had made it through the entire journey without complaining even once. As long as the journal was, I think it was a great start to the trip and maybe even allowed us to bond a little as a team. We’re ready for this.

July 6 – The International Date Line

Yes, I know the phrase “International Date Line” sounds like some sort of social media hook-up site, but it is actually an invisible, zig-zag line cutting north to south through the Pacific Ocean, and it messes up your time when you cross it. Now trying to wrap your brain around how it works is a little painful (for me anyway), but let me try to explain. Bangkok, Thailand is 12 hours ahead of us in Ontario, therefore when it is 12 am in Ontario it is 12 pm in Bangkok. If one was to travel east, every time you cross a time zone you add an hour to your watch, thereby losing time. By the time you hit Bangkok you will have passed through 12 of these and are now on Bangkok time.

Now, let’s say you head west instead. Flying to Vancouver will take you through three time zones, and as you pass each of these you remove an hour from you watch, thereby gaining time – the opposite of what happens when you travel east. So if you keep right on going, all the way to Bangkok, you will have removed a whole bunch of hours from your watch. But that doesn’t make any sense, because when you travel east you add hours to your watch, but when you travel west you subtract hours from your watch, and because the world is round, you are able to reach Bangkok regardless of which direction you take. This is why we need the international date line. When you are traveling west to Bangkok and reach the point at which Russia almost meets up with Alaska, you have to remove an entire day (i.e. 24 hours) from your watch.  This then resets you, so as you pass the international date line and keep traveling west, you continue removing those hours from you watch, and when you reach Bangkok your watch will read the same as it would have if you had travelled east.

This was a rather long winded say of saying I don’t have much to say about July 6th because it mostly disappeared on us! We left from Vancouver and flew for about 12 hours, all the way through to Manila, Philippines. This was the longest leg of the trip but it seemed to pass quite quickly, partially because of the excellent little seatback tv’s with movies, television series, and music, but also because the flight attendants seemed to be constantly bringing food around, and food is a great way to fight boredom. I wasn’t actually bored at all - it’s not often that you have 12 hours to do absolutely nothing, so much of the time I just listened to music, thought about things, and dozed off from time to time.

July 5 – Departure

The airport shuttle arrived at my in-laws house shortly after six pm, right on time. The Henrique family was on board, although John dragged Tony inside the house to give him a quick tour and grab us a couple of Mooseheads for the road. I helped our driver Gary load our gear into the back of the airport shuttle and then we did a big round of hugs with the folks. Tony asked Gary if we could bring the beers along. He said no. John looked the driver in the eye and said, “They are non-alcoholic.” I’m not sure if he was referring to Tony and I or the beers, but in any case Gary let us pass with our full strength moose lagers.  John can be very persuasive.

The ride to the airport was great – light traffic and all passengers in unsurprisingly great moods. But how could you not be, embarking on such an epic adventure? We’ve known Tony and Angela Henrique for about five years, and met them through Ana’s job at the Glenhyrst Art Gallery, as Angela has been a long time board member. They Henriques have become close friends of ours, and we’ve spent a lot of time with them over the years. Their children are Mackenzie, who is 18 and starting his first year of university in the fall, and Maddy who is 16 and in grade 11. We don’t know them as well as their folks, but that will certainly change during this trip. We visited the Henriques at their cabin last weekend and I felt compelled to give Mackenzie the heads up about a little issue I know is going to come up during the trip.

“Mackenzie,” I began. “Stella’s been taking puberty class this year so has been asking some awkward questions at home lately, usually around the dinner table.”

“Uh, ok,” he answered hesitantly.

“So if she starts asking you about periods, vaginas, sperm, sex, or anything like that, just play it cool and try to answer as truthfully as possible. If you don’t know the answer, just make something up that sounds believable – that’s what I do.”

Mackenzie gave me the reluctant thumbs up, but I don’t think he had previously considered the implications of spending significant amounts of time with a ten year old, inquisitive girl. Then again, neither had I, so a lot of this was new to me too, especially the questions about girl physiology. I grew up in a household with two brothers so the only talk of vaginas that ever happened around our place was….actually, I don’t think we ever talked about vaginas at home. Period. No pun intended.

Ana and I are quite looking forward to spending time with Mac and Maddy and learning what it’s like to be a teenager these days – especially with our kids rapidly approaching that stage of their lives. From all accounts, it’s a lot different than when we were teenagers in high school. These days we hear a lot about how so many high school kids are on anti-anxiety medication, surrounded by drugs, pressured to get good marks, but most importantly, how they haven’t ever learned how to throw empty beer bottles out of their car windows at speed limit signs, while exceeding said limit. Maybe I could give them a few pointers in exchange for the inside scoop on high school life in Brantford.

Traffic was light and we arrived at Pearson a full three and a half hours before our flight, but there was already a massive queue at the Philippines Air check-in counter.  We jumped in line and immediately asked somebody to take the first photo of the trip with all of us wearing our backpacks, looking fresh and, as yet, unaffected by the Asian heat onslaught and the ever constant butt sweats. While waiting in line Tony told me that ever since I mentioned the Asian butt sweats to Angela a few weeks previous, she’s been fairly consumed with the idea, and a little fearful.  I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have spoiled the surprise for her.

We checked in for the flight, made it through the security line, and got settled at our gate with nearly two hours to spare. Tony and I dropped $22 on two beers, enough to buy a whole cantina full of hippie backpackers a round in Phuket, but never mind. It would be unconscionable to not have a final beer before we left. Ana went to find a Timmy’s to grab us a snack and the kids mainly spent time on their phones, lapping up all the abundant wifi they could, no doubt anticipating that they would soon be stuck on a giant, luxury catamaran without internet. The horror.

Before boarding I announced to my gang that I had surprises for each of them. Now Stella already knew what her surprise was. Back in November she had asked me to write her a horror story. Although I wanted to finish it in time for Christmas, that didn’t happen and I finally completed the story just a few days ago. For Magnus, I had purchased him the latest Rick Riordan book, one of his favourite authors. And for my dear sweet wife, I bought her a giant, flashy diamond ring.

Yeah, not quite. But what I had done is nominate her for a Canada 150 award for her contributions to the community in the area of Arts, Culture and Heritage. Ana has done a ton of community work in connection with her job at the art gallery, and much besides this. So I had asked a number of people who have worked with her (including Angela) to write reference letters in support of her nomination, and they said a lot of wonderful things about Ana. So I handed her the package which contained all of the letters, and she was very surprised; somehow I had managed to keep the whole operation a secret. I’m pretty sure this move gained me significant family karma, which is going to come in very handy later in the trip if I have any immature transgressions (no doubt, with Tony).

We departed right on time and were soon flying through the air on a giant Boeing 777. The air hostesses brought a full meal around immediately after we hit cruising altitude and it was delicious. I settled in for a nice snooze and just over four hours later we landed in Vancouver for a refueling stop and to pick up some new passengers before the next leg to Manila, Philippines.

Southeast Asia 2017

We are three days away from departure. Our backpacks are packed and lined up against the wall in our bedroom. We have been eating up our fridge and freezer stocks and haven’t bought much for groceries over the past two weeks. The kids had their last day of school on Thursday and brought home fantastic report cards which capped off a very successful school year for both of them. The yard is in good shape and we’ve got Ana’s mom and dad lined up to take care of it for us over the summer. We’ve been try to meet up with as many friends as possible before we leave so there’s been plenty of socializing.

On Wednesday we leave for a seven week trip to South-east Asia and we are ready. Three years ago we embarked on a slightly longer 10 week trip to the region that was an eye-opening and life changing experience for our whole family. Barely a day has gone by since that trip that I have not thought about it.

And here we go again!

But this time we are going as an expanded group, at least for the first part. Our friends Angela and Tony and their children Mackenzie and Maddie will be joining us for the first three weeks. And this year we are starting with a catamaran trip in Phuket, Thailand instead of ending with one. We are chartering a 40’ Lagoon catamaran from the same company we did last time, but plan to explore many new places in Phang Nga Bay, over a period of five days. Our next stop will be Cambodia, after which our friends will head back to Canada and we will continue onto Vietnam and spend the rest of our time there. At least, that’s our current thinking, but since we don’t tend to book much of anything in advance, our itinerary is pretty much up for grabs.

Because we’ve had to greedily horde vacation days for this trip, we haven’t strayed too far from home this year. Instead, we’ve had many fantastic weekends exploring our rich and diverse backyard of south-western Ontario. Even after living here for over ten years we still rarely have trouble finding new places to visit and things to do. Work has also been very busy for both of us, especially the last few weeks trying to wind up loose ends in preparation for our extended leave.

This weekend was Canada’s 150th birthday so it was a great time to reflect on what we are as a country and perhaps where we should be headed. Our country’s relationship with our aboriginal people seems to have made great strides this year, at least in recognizing the issues and past injustices, which is a good first step. It seems every public pronouncement that is made always begins by recognizing the First Nations people, so I think our citizens are trying to make reconciliation a part of daily life. But what does that really mean? I’ve had conversations on this topic with many people, and there are so many opinions ranging from “We don’t owe the aboriginals anything, we are all equal here” to “We should be settling every land claim and paying aboriginals the massive sums they feel they are due” to what I think is a very common idea, which is “Let’s recognize there is an issue, say and do the right things, and put a reasonable amount of public money towards resolving the most pressing issues, but I still don’t know exactly what is required of me personally.”

Ana and I attended a Walrus Talks event in Toronto a few weeks ago. The Walrus is one of our favourite magazines and we have subscribed for years. It is a rather left leaning publication that features articles on current Canadian events, fiction, poetry and it’s mandate is “to be a national interest magazine about Canada and its place in the world...” The magazine organized a series of talks in 2017 with the topic “We Desire a Better Country” and we were thrilled when we got seats for the Toronto show.

We left the show with mixed feelings. Each of the speakers was given 7 minutes to discuss how we can make Canada better country. A few of the speakers had excellent, thought provoking, positive messages. But the majority of them seemed to be there for one reason: to make people feel guilty. Throughout the hour long event speakers addressing the crowd accused them, as Canadians, of hating black people and doing their best to eradicate native people. One of the speakers was a founder of Black Lives Matter and their speech was as close to hate speech as anything I’ve ever heard. Several of the others focused specifically on aboriginal issues, even though none of them were aboriginal, almost as if they had appropriated somebody else’s grievance. There was one native speaker and he was practically the only speaker that had a message of hope and joy and he did not once mention any grievance against Canada on behalf of his ethnic group. Was the speakers’ intention to make Canadians feel ashamed for their assumedly vicious thoughts and deeds? Considering the liberal nature of this magazine and its readers, I don’t think there were too many people at all in the crowd who are perpetrators of injustices against any ethnic group in Canada, yet there we were being accused all the same. I left wondering exactly who the speakers were trying to address, or whose minds they were trying to change, or what audience behaviors they were hoping to change. I don’t think we can build a better Canada by blaming today’s citizens for atrocities committed by generations of people who came before us in a different world and social circumstance, nor by taking on the collective guilt of a hundred and fifty years of historical missteps. Yes, our police should not be shooting young innocent black men for trivial misdeeds. I think we can all agree on that. And yes, the current relationship between native Canadians and non-native Canadians needs work and many aspects of daily life for some aboriginal people is atrocious. We can agree on that too. But what are you proposing? I actually didn’t come away with any ideas at all on how to make progress on any of these issues. I just felt guilty.

I have a proposal. Get to know people. Learn how to empathise. Develop a multicultural group of friends. Travel to new places, even if they are only an hour away. The only way to change yourself is by building personal relationships with people unlike yourself and learning why people are they way they are, and accepting it, even if you maybe don’t agree with them. You cannot bludgeon a society into changing their ideas; this has to begin from the ground up, from personal connections, from broad personal experiences, and from education, whether it comes in the form of a textbook, a speech, a discussion, or an internet meme.

We’ve always tried to teach our children the importance of not just accepting people for who they are, but also to celebrate diversity and the multiplicity of opinions and preferences. This is why we are taking this trip, and why we have traveled so extensively with our children. To show them (and ourselves) that yes, people are different, and things are done very differently in other countries than they are in Canada and it’s not right or wrong or better or worse, just different. And any country you visit is sure to have at least one thing that is done much better than it is in Canada, so why not take those ideas and explore how we could implement them at home to make Canada better?

So this is our goal. Keep our eyes and ears open. Learn as much as we can. Meet people. Make friends. Bring ideas home with us that we can use ourselves and share with others. If we can do that then the trip will have been a great success.