July 10 – The Holriques Meet Toy Boy

It was time to say goodbye to Bangtao. The driver picked us up at 9 am and as we were driving away I asked Ana when she thought we’d be back. She said she never imagined we would have returned so quickly after our previous visit.

Our idea for the trip was to spend a couple of days getting over the time difference before beginning our boat charter. So far, results have been mixed. Most of the crew has been having trouble sleeping through the night. In fact I think only Magnus and Stella are completely on track with their sleep. Angela has been living through Zombie Hour every night, starting at 1 am and the rest of us to a lesser extent. I have been doing quite well, better than last time I think. But still, it makes me wonder how all those people that do shift work, flipping back and forth between day and night shifts, manage to adjust to the hours. It is certainly not for me.

The man in the van drove us to the Tesco Lotus supermarket, which is just as large and well stocked as a Superstore or Loblaws back home. The ladies took the lead with the shopping list we constructed the night before, making adjustments as required. One cool item they found was this huge platter that contained all the ingredients needed for a stir fry – veggies, sauces, tofu, and even a bit of chicken, but not nearly enough to satisfy the standard meat content of a typical Canadian meal so we supplemented with a couple of bags of chicken pieces. While the ladies were doing that, Tony I went to scope out the alcohol section. With horror, we discovered that the entire section had been roped off, and there was a sign hanging there advising us that the Buddhist prohibition policy was indeed over, but they did not allow alcohol sales until 11 am. That meant an hour and a half to wait. We tried talking to a few staff to see if they could make an exception for clueless foreigners, but all they did was point to the sign. In the end, it didn’t really matter as the grocery shopping lasted until 10:30 anyway. But man, did we feel deprived, and I’m sure we looked real dumb too standing there in front of the roped-off booze with puppy dog eyes.

We loaded the supplies in the van, and the man in the van drove us to the marina. Along the way Magnus announced that our new team name was the “Holriques”, a combination of the family surnames. The suggestion was met with warm approval.

While the others began loading up the dock buggies I walked up to the Elite Yachting office, met with Mellissa whom we knew from our last charter, and got the paperwork and briefing done, alongside an English couple who were chartering a monohulled sailboat as part of their honeymoon. Tony and I then went down to the catamaran for a full review of the boat systems while the rest of the gang had lunch at the marina restaurant. By 2pm we were all on the boat and I was at the helm taking Toy Boy out of the marina and out to sea. It was quite a feeling being at the controls of such a magnificent vessel.

Toy Boy was a 40’ Lagoon catamaran, with four bedrooms, two full bathrooms with separate showers, an electricity generator, water maker, two refrigerators, bbq, range, oven, a dingy with outboard motor, a two-person sea kayak, and plenty of space, so we weren’t hurting for much. Mellissa had told us the owner of this boat was a fine looking Spanish lady, who couldn’t seem to find the right man in her life, though she went through plenty. She decided to buy a boat to fill this void in her life, hence the name.

We put out the sails shortly after leaving the marina and she sailed just fine, but it was going to take a while to get used to her and figure out all the boat systems. We sailed for about two hours to reach the north-east side of Ko Phanak, where Mellissa had told us we’d find an interesting cave. There were several tourist boats anchored just off the beach already, so we got anchored and then did two trips with the dingy to transport the crew to the beach. Using the flashlight we grabbed off the boat we entered the dark cave. We started making our way through the cave but the flashlight was either undercharged, or simply a piece of junk as it was hardly throwing any light. Fortunately there was a tourist group near us so we took advantage of their light and walked through, at least some of us did – the others got a little freaked out and headed back. As we shuffled through the darkness of the cave, the Thai guides that we met on their way out would whisper “Anaconda!” or “Crocodile!” as they pointed to the dark water ahead that we were wading through. That was more than sufficient to send Magnus scurrying for the entrance.

The cave was probably 50 metres in length, and at the end it opened up into an unbelievable hong, which is the name for the hollowed out centres of many of the islands here. Because we were at low tide it was completely drained of water, leaving a sandy surface that you could walk on. Looking up, you saw blue sky but it felt as if you were in the middle of a volcano shaft as the limestone walls shot straight up, perfectly vertical, with trees and plants clinging to their edges. It was beyond stunning, and got even more interesting when Ana spotted little walking fish slithering around in the muddy parts, amidst the crazy mangrove trees. It was nearly impossible to believe that within six hours there would be over seven feet of water filling the cave and hong. But that is indeed how ocean tides work.

We walked back through the cave with our junky flashlight and I managed to smash my head into one of the very low parts of the cave roof when I didn’t duck enough, drawing blood – the first of the trip I believe. As I was clutching my head, Angela, who was at the front of the pack, suddenly began frantically waving her hands around and screaming. Now when you are in a dark cave and once person starts screaming, you better believe everybody around them is sure to join in, so there we were screaming like a bunch of school girls, but not knowing exactly why. Someone shrieked, “What is it??”

Angela said, “A bat!” Well that didn’t do much to calm anybody down.

We made it back out to the beach alive and dingy’d back to the boat to grab a few iPhones flashlights, so that the rest of the group could go in and have a look. We kept the bat incident a secret so as not to scare them away from experiencing the beauty of the hong.

From here we sailed the mile and a half over to our first anchorage for the night – Hong Island. It is a stunning spot between two islands with the vertical rock walls shooting up, giving you the feeling you are completely enclosed. Most of us went for a swim, and the current was very strong due to the tide rushing out. Fortunately, there was a great deal of leftovers from lunch, so we ate those for dinner, saving ourselves having to prepare much of anything.

As darkness fell we went for another swim, but this time whenever one of us jumped in or splashed, the water would light up briefly with blue sparkles from the phosphorescents in the ocean, creating quite the show. Magnus also added to the effect by flashing his laser pointer on the vertical rock wall creating some interesting green patterns and making us guess the words he was writing on the rock with the pointer.

By 9 pm everybody was shattered, so we all headed off to our bunks and readied ourselves for our first night on the water.

July 9 – Phuket Circle Tour

My eyes snapped open and I was sure it was eight in the morning so I checked the time - 1:30 am. The Zombie hour was upon me. I knew I shouldn’t have taken that afternoon nap yesterday. I rolled around in bed for an hour and then admitted defeat and got up. There was not much else to do besides write so that’s what I did to pass the hours.


I walked down to the lobby at six and was soon joined by Mac who was quite sure he’d picked up a touch of heat stroke the previous day, so was thinking of taking a pass on the car trip we had planned for today. Soon the rest of the Henriques appeared, all of whom had woken up in the middle of the night. Damn, and I thought we already had this time difference licked.

After eating we packed up our day bags, squeezed in the car, and took off. Tony was in front acting as lead navigator and I was at the wheel, but in order to survive in this driving environment I had to get my crazy face on, so I flashed back in time to my first experience with driving around insane people – Karachi, Pakistan. I learned that unless you drive as ruthless and aggressive as those that surround you, you are sure to get mowed down.

Our first stop was the beach town of Patong, known to be the sleaze capital of Phuket. But arriving in the early morning, it appeared to be anything but sleazy. We found a parking spot near the beach and took a long walk down the sandy shores, with Magnus chasing down every sand crab he could find. This was the hottest day of the trip so far as the clouds had parted and we had full, intense sunshine. We found a giant Patong sign and did the obligatory photo shoot. These things are such fantastic marketing tools for a tourist destination. You know that every single person who visits and takes a photo in front of the sign posts it to their social media pages. It makes me wonder why we don’t have one in Paris or Brantford.

By this time many of the shops were opening up so we spent at least an hour dipping in and out of them and perusing the merchandise. Stella was looking at iPad cases, fidget spinners and clothes while Magnus focused in on weaponry, finding a lovely set of brass knuckles for 400 baht. He negotiated hard but could not get the vendor down to what he was willing to pay. He didn’t even bother negotiating on the taser.

From Patong we continued down the western coast, making several wrong turns and exploring all sorts of interesting dead ends, but we were not in a big rush so we just enjoyed the scenery. We passed through Karin and Kata beaches, winding up and down, shaking up the stomachs of the backseat passengers, but fortunately nobody got too car sick. We settled on the southern town of Rawai for lunch, but first we got parked and then did a walk through the fish market, where the vendors had tanks full of live giant prawns, lobsters, squid, and fishes of all varieties. There were also some fresh fruit vendors, and on the sneak I picked up a nice slab of durian, a fruit that we sadly did not try the last time we were, but I was determined to make that right.

We had lunch at a cool little beachside restaurant called Nikitas. At the end of the meal I whipped out the durian treat but it received a very cool reception from my comrades. Durians smell truly awful, sort of a mixture of garbage and sewage but, like strong cheeses, smells can be deceiving, and I always say that if there are 100 million people who love a certain type of foul smelling or foul looking food, then there must be something to it. I cracked out the durian and the non-heavenly odour erupted, further diminishing the chances that anybody else would be joining me. I took a spoon and dug out a creamy chunk of the fruit and stuck it in my mouth. It was not bad, not bad at all. Strong, yes, and definitely an unfamiliar flavor, but it was pretty good. After seeing this both Stella and Magnus agreed to try it. I gave Stella a small spoonful and she instantly began gagging and spit it out on the street. Magnus then tried a bit and did actually get it down, but was quick to grab the water bottle. “Any more takers?” I asked. Of course, my main man Tony suddenly appeared with three plastic forks, and he dug in. Angela wasn’t interested, but she did grab her phone and take a photo of us enjoying this fine Asian delicacy. Bucket list item 85 – check.

Our next destination was the Big Buddha – a giant statue on top of what looked like the largest mountain in Phuket. We had visited this site previously and the Henriques were keen to check it out. The drive up the mountain was of course twisty and turny, and along the way we saw quite a number of elephants at the various tourist stops. The views from the top of the mountain are outstanding and one can see far out into the ocean and over the harbor of nearby Phuket town. The Buddha site itself is still under construction, and didn’t appear to be much more finished than when we visited three years earlier.

We had one more stop to make. Located in the far north-east corner of the island was the Yacht Haven Marina, home to Elite Yachting – purveyors of fine catamaran charters. It took quite a long time to navigate all the way up the island due to traffic congestion, red lights, road construction, and a few bad turns, but we eventually made it. The marina had been completely rebuilt since we last visited and it was amazing. The marina itself is designed for very large boats, so many of the yachts looked to be over a hundred feet long. We didn’t have a lot of time, as the car had to be back by 5 pm, so we had a quick look at our vessel, named “Toy Boy”. The catamaran we rented previously was 36’ long and this one, at 40’, looked much, much larger. This was going to be fun.

We made it back to Bangtao at 5:09, just slightly late, but considering we took about ten wrong turns we still made pretty good time. Driving around Bangtao is simply confounding, and it seems there are at least a dozen different routes we can take back to the hotel. After this sweltering day of driving we all jumped into the pool for a lovely swim. The only exception was Ana, who had picked up Magnus’ rotten cold, so she spent the time lying down in the room trying to recuperate. She and Magnus have a special bond. Every time he gets sick, she catches it.

Tony, Magnus, Stella and I goofed around in the pool for a long time, and enjoyed a few drinks at the swim up bar. Even though it was Buddha Lent, and the island was still on booze lockdown, the hotel was okay with serving its guests alcohol, and we were okay drinking it.

For dinner, we returned to the beachside restaurant we dined at the first night and had another lovely feeding. During dinner, we put together a meal plan and shopping list for the boat trip as we planned to stop at the grocery store on the way to the marina to get all the provisions we would need, and wanted to get in and out of there as fast as possible. There are not going to be many dining options while we are out on the water so will be making nearly all of our meals on the boat.

After dinner, we returned to the hotel and Tony and I shared the last beer I had stashed away in my mini fridge. He also ordered up a couple glasses of scotch, which provided a fine finish to a fine day indeed.