A Birthday in Hilton Head

Hilton Head, South Carolina  – 33 kilometres biked

We wanted to make the most of today as it was Ana’s birthday and we were splurging on the Sheltered Cove Marina and Resort to celebrate. We pulled anchor at 7:30 and motored up Broad Creek on a plunging tide. When Ana spoke to the dockmaster at Sheltered Cove yesterday he said it was better to come in on a rising tide, but that wasn’t going to happen until early afternoon so we took our chances. Well, the approach to the harbour entrance was looking very mucky and shallow and sure enough my depth sounder dropped to zero indicating we were dragging the keel through mud. But with a bit of engine throttle and lip biting we dredged a path, floated into the marina, and were helped in by the dockmaster at the first dock, perfectly located. He immediately handed us a welcome package with door codes, maps, wifi passwords, tour brochures, tide tables, and other resort information. This was a professional operation.

 

Sheltered Cove is a resort marina with the boat slips being just one part of it; they also had hundreds of rooms, several restaurants, an activities desk where they lined up tours for guests and, most importantly, free laundry and free bikes! After getting checked in by the incredible staff, they hooked us up with two bad ass bicycles, which reminded me of the band Morphine. The singer and bass player Mark Sandman once said having more than one string on his bass felt indulgent and unnecessary as that one string had all the notes he could ever need. Like his bass, these bikes had exactly what they needed – a single gear and old school brakes applied with a simple backpedal. Nothing indulgent, just the basics. We loved them.

 

We biked through the marina, along a short estuary, then onto the bike paths system which Hilton Head is known for. Everything was neat and tidy – clean streets and pathways, manicured gardens, Spanish Moss hung artfully from the trees, not sloppily, and little signs providing tidbits of information, such as the 37 snake species found on the island, and the simple rule that cars always have right away so please stop at all intersections and wait for them. You might not like cars having precedence over walkers and bikers, but it sure makes for a simple rule.

We biked fully across the width of the island and onto the hard-packed sand beach, then kept right on biking oceanside. It was glorious. I have never biked on a beach before but I can tell you it is exhilarating. It’s even better than riding the beach on a white horse and wearing Old Spice deodorant. We were having so much fun I video’d in our friend Dave from Brantford so he could join in virtually.

 

It was time for a coffee break so we biked back to The General Store which seemed to be the central hub for coffee, snacks, take-away food, groceries, and I’m sure they sold pickleball paddles there too as the store was situated directly across from a pickleball megalopolis, with at least a dozen pickleball courts, and a few tennis courts too for the pre-pickleballers. Ana and I watched them all getting on their morning pickle tickle as we enjoyed our coffees, the radiant temperature, and the smell of the breakfast sandwich the guy next to us was eating, oozing with melted American cheese, igniting hunger I thought I had extinguished with my morning toast and cereal.

 

Since we had the bikes, and wanted to see the island, we made the bold decision to do the half island loop, which didn’t sound too bad is it was only half of the regular loop and really didn’t look that far on the colourful island map we had brought along from our marina welcome package. Well, it was far. Our previous record for long distance endurance bike riding was about a kilometer, which is a round trip to the Pioneer gas station by our house to pick up milk when we run out. The ride itself was lovely and we passed by many beautiful sights, including an alligator swimming lazily across one of the fresh water creeks. When we reached the bridge, however, Ana lost her mind. We had to bike up the same bridge we had squaked SeaLight beneath, just hours previous, and it was a roaring raceway of fast moving traffic with a little strip along the side for suicidal bikers. Now if you’re a David Lenger (this is what I call those guys wearing spandex tights, mushroom caps, and fancy sunglasses who ride bikes worth more than a Hyundai Santa Fe and go out for leisurely rides of 200 kilometers in 25 mph winds, passing vehicular traffic along the way and laughing like maniacs) this would not have been a problem, but for us sailors with stringy, atrophied leg muscles, it would require a Herculean effort. Ana could picture nothing other than buttock bruising, inner thigh lesions, and being heart-paddled by an EMR while lying flat on the bridgeway with hungry Carolina vultures circling overhead.

I tried to encourage Ana, saying things like “Think of the feeling of accomplishment you’ll have at the end of it” and “Sure is a nice day for a bike ride” and “At least it’s not hilly” (that was before the bridge), but none of it really helped much and for a while there I think she was feeling like her birthday was ruined. But shortly after we successfully crossed the bridge, she spotted a consignment store and veered off the road, leaped off the bike, letting it skid into the gravel and crash, and raced into the store. While Ana got her retail therapy, I spoke to the lady working the store and found out she had recently paid over two hundred grand to buy a driveway in Hilton Head on which to park her live-aboard RV. Island life here don’t come cheap.

 

Ana’s demeanor had markedly improved and was back up to over 100 percent after she spotted a Thai restaurant and we went in for a nice lunch. She then had the biggest surprise of the day when our Italian exchange student Dom (known as our “Third Child”) called her on video along with his mom and grandma from Naples. We had a lovely chat and after that it was all smiles and giggles for the rest of the day. Her birthday was saved!

 

We completed the bike loop then went a bit further to the TJ Maxx store. Ana went shopping and I pulled up a stool at the nearby Hilton Head Tavern and lost myself in a pint of their finest local IPA and the Ayn Rand Reader I had picked up at the consignment store for two bucks. In the past I’d tried to read one of her novels – Atlas Shrugged – and didn’t get too far, but I really enjoyed this collection and didn’t even look up or register my surroundings until I felt Ana tapping my shoulder an hour or two later.

To cap off the bike journey, we went grocery shopping at Kroeger.  At the checkout I asked the lady if she thought we could fit all our purchased in our single bike basket. She looked at me like I was insane.

 

“OK, well in that case do you have a small rope?” I asked her.

 

“A rope?” she said.

 

“Yeah, a rope. Looks like I’m going to have to tow the cart behind the bike.”

 

“I don’t think you’re allowed to do that.”

 

Between the  bike basket, my backpack, bags dangling from our four arms, and a case of 24 Yuengling balanced on my head like the most talented tribal water gatherer, we biked it all back to the marina without losing even a single grape, and soon it was all packed away in SeaLight and we were eating fried chicken, potato salad, and fresh bread, washed down with a fine Rose for the birthday girl and Cardboardeaux for me as our three loads of laundry spun away in the free machines. Stella and Magnus gave their mom a video call before bed to wish her a happy birthday, which nicely capped off the day.

Ana confirmed it had been an excellent birthday.