Albums That Defined My Musical Tastes – Red Hot Chili Peppers “The Red Hot Chili Peppers”

One day, sometime in the mid to late 80’s, I paid a visit to my grandparents at their condo in Saskatoon. I was looking around in my grandpa’s office as he always had cool stuff in there – stacks of coin and stamp books, Life and National Geographic magazines, old war photos, and if I dug around in the drawers, the discoveries became even more wondrous. But during this particular visit, sitting on top of a filing cabinet were two cassettes, which I learned had been “stored” there (which probably meant “abandoned”) by my uncle Michael who has always had a keen sense of music and has turned me on to many amazing bands since then. The first cassette was Men at Work’s Business As Usual and I’d already heard of this band as they were getting radio play and I liked their music. In fact, the first concert I ever attended was a Men at Work show in Saskatoon with my mom, but it only happened because my dad got called out of town unexpectedly for work and couldn’t go with her. I only remember flashes of the concert, but  it really came full circle 20 years later when Ana and I attended a show by Colin Hay, the singer from Men at Work, at the Ironwood Bar and Grill in Calgary, Alberta. He put on one of the best shows I’ve ever seen (incredible voice and hilarious stories), for a crowd of less than a hundred people. After the show, I walked up and talked to him and told him about my first concert experience and he was so happy to hear it. I didn’t expect he would remember one show of the thousands they probably played, but he told me he remembered that show well because Canada was one of the first countries they played in when they started getting famous and they received an amazing reception in Saskatoon and everywhere else they played. He also said he I was very lucky that my first concert had been with my mom! I’ve been a huge Men at Work/Colin Hay fan since then.

The second cassette was the Red Hot Chili Peppers self-titled debut. I’d never heard of the band, but I assumed they must be pretty cool if my uncle bought it. Now, you’re probably thinking I stole the two cassettes from my grandpa’s office, took them home, and listened to them until they melted. But that was not the case. I wouldn’t really rediscover the Red Hots until years later, and I think the first album I bought was The Uplift Mofo Party Plan. After buying one, I was hooked, but not just me – my two brothers Marty and Curtis became rabid Chilis fans. For a few years those albums were practically all we listened to. We even had my grandma make us a blanket with the Red Hot Chili Peppers band logo on it which was awesome, but made even more badass when grandma accidently spelled it “Chile”. We also made a giant Chili Peppers banner that we used to hang up in the house and take to parties when we wanted to get crazy.

Their sound was fresh, vulgar, spastic, intense, and funny. The singer Anthony Kiedis couldn’t sing worth a damn and still can’t (although he tries much harder now), but what a front man! Of course Flea is one of the most famous bass players in the world and he took the slapping/popping technique to a different punk rock fueled level. The guitarists and drummers would come and go with the band, but all were epic players. The best Chilis poster ever made displays the band members totally naked except for the dirty  sport socks cloaking their packages, a move we would replicate many times over the years under the influence of alcohol, but never quite get right.

This band ignited the love of the bass guitar in me, and I started playing bass because of their music. Once you love the bass, it will be the first instrument you hear in any song. From the Chilis I’d dive into so many other bass-led bands such as Primus, Rush, Cake, Tool, The Police, and Morphine. I’d be lying if I said I’ve followed the Chili Peppers throughout their entire career, as I haven’t been interested in much of anything they have done after Blood Sugar Sex Magik and One Hot Minute, as their lost a lot of their youthful vigor and experimentation and stopped singing about magical dolphins, true men not killing coyotes, skinny sweaty men, purple stains, and police helicopters and instead started singing about love and other adult topics, which is way too grown up for me.

I’ve seen the Chili Peppers play live twice, the second time was in Amsterdam during the One Hot Minute tour, and it was nuts. The stadium with thick with marijuana smoke and got me instantly stoned without smoking a thing. The band played the latter part of the concert completely naked and I was so close to the front I was getting hit by droplets of sweat from Flea’s nutsack. It happened to be Flea’s birthday so at the end of the show some roadies came out singing Happy Birthday with a cake that they shoved in his face, which turned into a full band cake fight, and since they were in a violent mood they turned on their instruments and completely destroyed the drum kit by beating it to pieces with their guitars. Fucking punk rock!

Albums That Defined My Musical Tastes – Led Zeppelin Boxed Set

In 1990 a four CD boxed set of remastered Led Zeppelin tracks was released and it was a carefully curated collection of songs that chronologically tracked the band’s development and experimentation. I am sure my folks must have played Led Zeppelin albums at home, but the first time the band came to my attention was when I heard "Heartbreaker" on the radio. I asked my dad what band that was because I loved the song and wanted to buy the album, thinking it was a new release. Of course, he laughed and told me they had been around for a long time, but encouraged me to buy the album and said, “If you buy one, you will end up buying them all.” And I did. So by the time the boxed set came out I already owned every Led Zeppelin cassette (thanks Columbia House!) and listened to them all the time. But the boxed set was special because their best tunes were consolidated into just 4 cds, and you could pick a cd to match your mood. If you were in a party mood, you put on the first one and were hit with “Whole Lotta Love”, “I Can’t Quit You Baby”, “Dazed and Confused”, and “Ramble On”. If you wanted to learn some new and interesting guitar chords and practice your harmonies, you put on the second one and could get absorbed in “Tangerine”, “Over the Hills and Far Away”, and “Gallows Pole”. Feeling melancholy, suicidal, or just want to be alone for a while with your headphones on? Then it was the third one with “Kashmir”, “In My Time of Dying”, “When the Levee Breaks”, and “Achilles Last Stand”. And if you are feeling happy and chipper, then the fourth one was perfect with “The Ocean”, “Nobody’s Fault but Mine”, “Poor Tom”, and “In the Evening”.

Led Zeppelin was my first classic rock discovery, but that just drew me deeper into the genre and I dug into so many of their contemporaries such as Black Sabbath, Cream, Jimi Hendrix, Rush, Fleetwood Mac and later on Van Halen, Queen, Aerosmith, AC/DC and the list really goes on and on. Saying that, I do not love classic rock as a genre carte blanche. In fact, some of the most popular bands during this time such as The Who, the Rolling Stones, The Beatles, and Bob Dylan do not excite me in the least and I’m flipping to the next FM station whenever these tracks come up.

Zeppelin’s sound laid the groundwork for the many branches of rock genres and heavier sounds that would follow, in particular the world of metal – a world I love indeed. And a world that wouldn’t exist in quite the same way if Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, Robert Plant, and John Bonham hadn’t come together to create some of the greatest music ever recorded.

Several times during the university days I’d get together with a group of friends and we’d have a “Led Zeppelin Fest”. Everybody brought a bottle of rye whiskey to somebody’s house and we’d play the board game Risk while listening to the entire 4 cd boxed set from start to finish. We’d rarely get through the whole thing as somebody would pass out or an argument would erupt (should have stuck to beer) or we’d abandon the whole project and take off for the bar, pie-eyed and looking for action. Fond memories indeed – enjoying great music with great friends.

If I could only listen to the catalogue of one band for the rest of my life, it would be Led Zeppelin.

Albums That Defined My Musical Tastes – Colin James’s “Colin James”

The very first piece of music I ever purchased was a 45 of Elvis Presley’s “Devil in Disguise”. I loved that song the first time I heard it and after saving up some allowance cash I went down to Sam the Record Man at the Confederation Park Mall in Saskatoon and bought it. I would later discover the real early Elvis stuff through a cd boxed set my folks bought– and it was pure one man country blues. This helped plant the seed that would turn me into a huge blues fan. But the one album that really started this for me was Colin James’s self-titled “Colin James”, released in 1988 when I was 16. I bought this cassette at least two times, as I played it so much it simply wore out. The album still sounds great now and “Voodoo Thing” is one of the hardest rocking blues tracks ever written – quite an accomplishment for a young prairie punk from Regina.

But Colin James was just the appetizer. His music would lead me to discover the guy who discovered him – the one and only Stevie Ray Vaughan, whose albums I devoured, but led me deeper still into the blues, for example his hero Jimi Hendrix, but also the classic blues men such as Howling Wolf, Robert Johnson. Willie Dixon, Sonny Boy Williamson, Albert King, Howlin’ Wolf, Albert Collins and so many more. It was actually a classmate and buddy of mine – Leonard Saludo - who helped me to discover this music. Leonard and I were talking music one day during the dreary bus ride to school and I was showing off what a blues expert I was by name dropping Stevie Ray Vaughan. He then started rattling off all his favourite blues musicians as I sat there with embarrassed, dopey eyes, barely able to keep up. He made me a few cassettes jammed full of amazing blues tunes and I consumed them like candy. What music! The songs was so simple, yet so powerful. One year Ana and I went to the Chicago Blues Festival and we got to meet Otis Rush and see him play at a local bar. He was a bit past his prime by then, but had such an incredible aura about him, and was so at home on stage. In fact, I think on stage was his home.

I attended the University of Saskatchewan in the early 90’s and most Thursdays of those years I could be found with my buddies at the most enduring blues bar in the prairies – Bud’s on Broadway. We were all flat broke so we could usually only afford one or two tall Rye & Cokes, so we made them last and sat there for hours listening to all the amazing blues bands that passed through town on the cross country blues circuit. They say the blues makes you sad, but I feel nothing but joy when I think back to those years hanging out with my pals listening to the scorching guitar riffs, the rock steady and rumbling bass, the snappy drums, the bitchin organs, and of course, the dirty growling vocals and distorted wailing of the harmonica solos.

This early blues exposure would lay the groundwork for my infatuation with so many blues rock bands over the years. Artists like John Campbell, Big Sugar, Tea Party, The Sheepdogs, The Cruel Sea, Jack White, the list goes on and on.

Blues is the root of so many musical styles, but Muddy Waters said it best when he sang:

All you people, you know the blues got a soul

Well this is a story, a story never been told

Well you know the blues got pregnant

And they named the baby Rock & Roll

Albums That Defined My Musical Tastes - Fleetwood Mac "Tusk"

I think back and try to remember the first music I experienced as a child, but the memories don’t come easily. My earliest ones are of my favourite toy (battery powered trumpet), favourite shirt (The Fonz with two thumbs up saying, “AAAYYYY!”), recurring nightmare (falling backwards into a bottomless hole), and random scenes from elementary school (a solar eclipse, plants on the window sill, marbles at recess, my first friend Jeff). For music, I do remember one yodeling song that Sister Kathleen made us listen to in grade 4, which included the lyrics, “Man was made to do his best, work six days and then to rest. In a cheery way work is always play, yodel-e,  yodel-o, yodel-ey. With a happy tune work is finished soon…. yodel-e,  yodel-o, yodel-ey.” That damn song still pops up in my brain every now and then. I’m scared to look it up online because I’ll probably find it.

The first song and album I remember loving as a kid was Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk”. It was at 362 Pendygrasse Road in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. My mom and dad had this recording device called a Reel-to-Reel, which was this huge metallic machine with giant exposed tape reels that sat on top of the living room hutch. I don’t remember where dad got it from, or how long we had it, or even how he got the music onto the tape, but I do remember him putting on Tusk in the evening and cranking it up to 9. The song began very quietly, with almost background dinner party noise. Then Mick Fleetwood’s drums start, a hypnotic tom tom repetition that shook the plaster walls and continued until it was joined by the angelic harmonies of Lindsay Buckingham, Christine McVie and Stevie Nicks singing “Why don’t you ask him if he’s going to stay? Who don’t you ask him if he’s going away?” accompanied by some innocent, yet somehow sinister guitar strumming. Then the unmistakable bass of John McVie leaps in with a powerful, shuffling riff that knocks over whatever trinkets and knick-knacks were left balanced tenderly on the fireplace mantle, not yet dislodged by the drums. The background noise, now including some screaming and moaning, continues and even intensifies. The entire band shouts out “TUSK!” At the midpoint, a short but intense drum solo breaks out, driving us nutty. By now my brothers and I are jumping around the living room like wild beasts, ramming into each other, and leaping from couch to coffee table to love seat. Mom and dad are laughing at us, having fun, sometimes dancing around too. The song continues, and my mind is filled with powerful images. A herd of elephants crashing through the jungle. A big brass band, marching, and blowing everything into it. A street war. A Roman Triumph parade entering the Forum, crowd cheering, and chariots with bloody wheels. By the end of the 3:38 song, we kids are sweaty and riled, ready to smash something up. Victory is ours.

I enjoy heavy and powerful music. And this song is as heavy and powerful as it gets.

Things I Notice About My Family

We are now in week 8 of quarantine which means our family has spent a previously unimaginable amount of time together as we have been working and learning from home. It has been a big adjustment, especially the first couple of weeks, but we have now settled into a nice routine and it’s almost feeling normal. I’ve also come to gain some deep insights into my family’s behavior I never previously noticed or considered.

First, in the land of flexible schedules, some huge differences have become apparent. My natural schedule is to wake up early, eat breakfast, and then get to work when my brain is most productive. My day begins around 6am and I get a couple of hours of work in before my regular work start time of 8:30. I then have breakfast, get showered, and am back on until around noon, at which point I take a long break to go for a walk, eat lunch, goof around, and then work 2 or 3 more hours in the afternoon. By 9:30 I can barely keep my eyes open so I either fall asleep on the couch or I stand up to watch a show with Ana, as that’s the only way I can maintain consciousness.

The girls like to sleep in and generally don’t appear until 8:30 or 9. Magnus usually does the same, but some days he is up shortly after me. But none of them eat breakfast in the morning! They start their work and then will wander into the kitchen at 10 or 11 looking for something to eat, which means nobody is hungry at noon when I am starving. Then they all eat again around 2 or 3, or sometimes they don’t really eat a meal and instead pick away at fruit, toast, or fridge findings in small doses throughout the day. Fortunately we all gather for a proper evening meal around 6 or so, and we talk about the day and the things we worked on or learned.

I believe I have inherited my sleeping and eating schedule from my grandpa Edgar. He was always an early riser, and only stayed up late when he was out dancing with his beautiful wife. Whenever you asked him if he was hungry, he would say “What time is it?” If it was 7am, he would eat. If it was noon he would eat. If it was 5:30pm he would eat. Outside of that, forget it. My wife and kids have inherited their eating schedule from feral cats. They eat whenever they feel like it, and only if there’s something good available.

Everybody seems to be more productive when they can fall back on their body’s natural schedule and rhythm. I now realize the only reason the kids eat breakfast at 7am during normal times is because they have to in order to get to school on time. They are not even hungry. And I think they are much more productive with the current schedule as they can focus on getting their school work and learning done when their brains are most receptive, not according to a schedule. Then just eat whenever.

Stella loves to ask random questions. But I think she is running out of material. During dinner the other night, she said “I’m going to give you guys a quiz on Stella to see how well you know me. First question, what is my favourite utensil?”

“Fork!” I said.

“Spatula!” Magnus yelled.

“Mixer!” said Ana.

“Nope, it’s a spoon. Next question. What is my favourite font...and size.”

“Helvitica 12!”

“Arial 16!”

“Cambria 14!”

The fact that we all actually knew the names of fonts is an indication of how the world has changed since the proliferation of computers.

“Nope. It’s Times New Roman 12. Last question. What’s my favourite food cap colour?”

“What?” Ana asked.

“Food caps. Caps on the bottles and jars. Look at the table,” she replied as she pointed.

Yes, the bottles of orange juice, tartar sauce, carbonated water, salad dressing, olives, and so on all had caps of different colours. Not that anybody had ever actually noticed.

“Uhh, white?” I guessed.

“Red, “ said Magnus confidently.

“Yellow?” tried Ana.

“Nope,” she said triumphantly. “It’s orange. You guys don’t know me very well.”

Magnus is now in grade 10 and has a newfound fondness for arguing with everybody about everything. It’s a normal part of growing up but annoying as hell because he doesn’t listen to reason, just like I didn’t when I got into epic battles with my father when I was his age. The other day he argued me into right into a corner, and everybody witnessed it. But first, the backstory. When the kids were younger, we used to pick up after them when they left crap lying all over the house. But after a certain age I decided that if I kept doing that then they would never learn how to pick up after themselves and do things properly. So I make them clean up after themselves. For example, the kids are playing outside and leave a tennis ball lying on the grass because they didn’t feel like picking it up, and know that if they leave it long enough either Ana or I will grab it. So when I see the tennis ball lying there, I will go inside the house, call them down, make them put their shoes on and go pick up the ball, instead of doing it myself which would take about 10 seconds. I do this to them all the time and it drives them crazy. Here’s another one. Stella will get home, hang up her jacket in the closet, then leave the closet doors wide open. Yes, I could shut them, but instead I call her down and make her do it. Magnus complains about my behavior and says things like, “Dad, what’s the big deal? Why can’t you just do me a favour??” I just tell him it’s more efficient and way faster to do things properly in the first place instead of being lazy and having to do it later or wait for somebody else to do it. It’s a good lesson to learn. Saying that, I do sometimes clean up after them if I just don’t have the energy to track them down, but I try to stick to my guns most of the time. Ana is much more forgiving and efficient – she will just clean up after them and forget about it…until it happens too many times in one day then she unloads on them and goes Portuguese-crazy.

So the other day Magnus was washing up his breakfast dishes in the kitchen and there was a dirty bowl and spoon there that Stella had used and abandoned. Magnus left those ones and was walking out of the kitchen when I said, “Magnus, why don’t you just clean those other dishes too so the kitchen is tidy?”

“They are Stella’s, she has to do her own,” he said.

“OK, but why not do them anyway since you are there.”

“What? You always say we need to clean up our own mess. Why would I do her dishes? She has to do it herself.”

I could sense I was digging myself into a hole, but I foolishly kept going. “Right, but sometimes you can pitch in and do a little extra to keep the house clean.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying that! That’s not the rule!”

Then Ana chimed in, “He’s got you there. You always make the kids clean up after themselves. You can’t have it both ways.”

“Yeah Dad, you’re a hypocrite.”

I fought them for a bit until I realized the logic just didn’t hold, so I admitted I was wrong. But of course the next day, I came up to the kitchen and there was a nice pile of breakfast dishes left there by both the kids, perhaps set as a trap. Instead of taking the bait, I cleaned them and kept my trap shut. I don’t know. Sometimes peace trumps lesson delivery.

I’ve also recently noticed something very strange about the way Ana butters toast. It is really bizarre and I think this is a recent change, because I would have noticed it before, but I can’t be sure. When I make toast for her, I toast the bread, take it out when it is piping hot, then gently extract thin coils of butter off the top of the stick and tenderly spread it across surface of the toast being careful not to damage or puncture it, producing a photo-worthy toast that stands high and proud. If the butter is extra hard I will sometimes get the butter on the knife and hold it over the toaster to slowly soften it, making it easier to spread. When Ana butters toast, she carves a gigantic wad of butter off the hard stick and mashes it into the bread, totally destroying the surface and flattening it into the plate so that when she’s done it looks like a mini swimming pool with the high sides and a low bottom holding the pool of butter. It’s like a mini steam-roller prepped the toast for asphalt, or Marmite (nearly the same).

Another change is Ana and I have had much more elaborate arguments since quarantine began. Usually we’re so busy that when we argue it’s a rather short affair and over and forgotten even before we even figure who won. Now since we don’t leave the house it provides the time for well thought out and intricate verbal sparring. An argument we had the other day went something like this.

“The outside garden hose is leaking? When did that start?” I ask.

“I told you about that two weeks ago,” Ana replies.

“What? No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did.”

“Oh no you didn’t.”

“Yes I did.”

“Nope.”

“You just forgot.”

“No I didn’t. If you had told me I would have gone outside, looked at it, and check to see if we had something in the shed to fix it. That didn’t happen.”

“Well I told you.”

“Did you maybe tell me when I was unconscious and sleeping on the couch?”

“I can’t remember.”

“Ah ha! Well I do – that’s exactly when you told me. Which is why I didn’t remember. So there.”

“Could you just fix the stupid hose?”

I know, the complex arguments and structure of the logic is hard to follow, but with time on our hands we’ve taken our verbal sparring to a much higher level.

What have I noticed about myself? Well, I sure like the extended quiet time I get to myself in the morning. I usually have about 45 minutes to myself in the morning before having to wake the kids up and ride their asses to get them ready in time to leave by 7:30. It is exhausting and stressful and half the time we leave the house in a huff slinging accusations at each other over who made us late again this time. Now I have hours to myself since they kids don’t have to get up. I friggin’ love it. It’s the best. The longer they sleep the happier I am.

I’ve also realized I need a two-hour lunch. These lunches where you cram a sandwich in your face at your desk between emails is terribly unhealthy and just wrong. Now at home with my early starts, I can afford to take a nice long lunch break. My lunches have regularly consisted of not just eating a nice meal, but doing a variety of things such as taking a long walk, doing yoga or a core workout, taking on a bit of yard work, playing some guitar or banging on the drums, helping the kids with projects, and so on. When I get back to work for a few hours in the afternoon, it feels like a new day and I am fresh and ready. I’ve heard that many workers in France take two-hour lunches. Geniuses.

I know this quarantine will not last much longer, but I do hope that people and organizations have the vision to learn from this pandemic and perhaps adjust the way we do things. And maybe, just maybe, we will come out of this thing happier, stronger, and definitely more resilient.

Is There a Bright Side to the COVID-19 Pandemic?

Risk. Uncertainty. Fear. Panic. Welcome to 2020.

We are in the midst of the COVID19 global pandemic and at times like these, it is natural to re-evaluate one’s life and world view. The fear of this virus has become overpowering and unavoidable. There is literally nothing else being reported on in the mass media, stoking even more fear and desperation. Governments are executing massive stimulus programs, sending bucketloads of money out the door to people who have lost their jobs (and there are many), parents, seniors, but also large and small businesses across the country. Governments at all levels have sent us home into quarantine and closed schools, daycares, most businesses, parks, playgrounds, and restricted all social gatherings. Though few of us have experienced wartime outside of Hollywood epics, that’s what it feels like right now (without all the shooting). To make things worse for Canada and other resource extracting countries, the price of oil has dropped to below $20/barrel due to a supply war between Saudi Arabia and Russia, devastating the entire industry. The price is closing in on lows set in 1998 – over 20 years ago, and they hadn’t previously hit that level since 1947.

People are dying from this and more people are going to die. Many more will lose their jobs, houses, and other possessions as they start liquidating assets to bring in cash to spend on the necessities. Some of these people will crack under the pressure and commit suicide. Relationships will fall apart. Mental health issues will skyrocket. Many will give up hope. All of this is awful.

There is going to be plenty of carnage to go around. But one thing to remember is that when chaos reigns, opportunities abound…if you look for them. Many people plant seeds for future wealth during times of uncertainty. They are greedy when others are fearful. They take chances when others are running for the exit. Governments too have made their greatest and most significant changes during bad times, and the effects of these last for decades or longer. Let’s take a break from the doom and gloom and look for some opportunities.

1. Deal with climate change

Look at the world pulling together to combat an imminent threat. It is truly amazing what we can do in times of emergency. But it seems that this Herculean effort is only possible when the fear of death or total collapse is present. We are slowly roasting our planet by unnecessarily burning fossil fuels and we need to stop doing it, otherwise millions of deaths will be caused and our way of life will truly change for the worse, and impact the poorest of humankind the most. Let’s find a way to extend this spirit of global cooperation to seriously tackling climate change. Like Greta Thunberg recently said, “I want you to act as you would in a crisis. I want you to act as if our house is on fire. Because it is.”

Maybe this virus is part of the Earth’s plan. I imagine the conversation going like this:

Earth: Could you please stop burning all my energy resources, it is really causing a lot of problems and making it tough for me to hold the whole system together.

Us: Fuck you.

Earth: Ok then, if you are not going to do anything about it, then I will. And you’re not going to like my solution.

Has it occurred to anybody that there could be another virus that pops up right after this one, but maybe it will kill 50% of the people who contract it and will be more contagious than the coronavirus? Maybe the combined problems of human overpopulation and warming temperatures are causing ever more deadly viruses to occur ever more frequently. Nature is all about balance, nature is complex, nature works in mysterious ways. We ignore her at our peril.

2. Improve the school system

In Canada we claim to have a world class school system, and judging by international standards, it is good, but could absolutely be improved. Is the money we are putting into the education system delivering the anticipated results? Canada's ranking in global comparisons of education systems has slipped in recent years, and this is not for lack of funding. Perhaps we've reached the point where incremental changes are no longer improving results. The recent strikes in Ontario have been difficult to the public to understand as the unions, who wield an enormous amount of political power, pushed for increased pay and benefits, and pushed back on some progressive reforms such as online learning and higher class sizes for high school students both of which seemed like rather tolerable changes to get the overall cost of delivering education under control, but which would have resulted in fewer teacher positions, despite the government's guarantees that these position cuts would be delivered through attrition and not job losses. As a result, teachers across all systems went on strike, resulting in lost school days, terrible disruption for parents, and disappointed kids. In the end, it seems the unions came out ahead, as most of the proposed changes were tossed and yearly benefits will be increased by 4% while pay will be held to 1%.

Our provincial government is facing major spending challenges as the provincial debt and deficits have exploded in the past fifteen years. Cuts must be made and systems need to become more efficient. How can we educate children to become productive, innovative, creative citizens but at a lower cost? As we are seeing during this crisis, health trumps everything else and the bill is going to be massive, which will give the government much less room for future compensation increases for public sector employees.

Governments should take advantage of this time to reset the rules. First, in a time where people everywhere are losing their jobs, losing their businesses, and losing their minds, teachers and many other public sector workers (me included) are effectively sheltered from all of it. It is time to reset expectations. Public sector salaries and benefits cannot continually rise when private ones get decimated during the inevitable crisis times. Paying public sector workers more than similar private sector jobs and offering incredible pensions that go far beyond anything in the private sector does not make sense and it is not fair to taxpayers.

Deep structural changes such as consolidating the four different types of school boards, implementing accountability systems that affect pay for unionized workers, or somehow reducing the political power of the unions are tough, if not downright impossible. But this is a perfect opportunity to embrace the idea of using technology to enable remote or online learning. If teachers and students can effectively learn remotely, then whenever the physical schools are closed because of bad weather or a crisis, we can switch to the online model and keep the system running. And we can continue to develop the idea from here for the benefit of students. This seems like something that everybody should be able to agree on.

3. Get government spending under control

This is all so predictable that it’s almost laughable. Over the past ten years, Canada has been going through nearly uninterrupted boom times. Yet all levels of government run massive deficits every year. It’s in the name of “investment”. Or to solve burning social issues. Or to keep us competitive. There is always a reason. But the fact is that during the good times governments should not be overspending because the next disaster where massive stimulus spending will be needed, is always right around the corner. Doesn’t a crisis tend to happen every ten years or so? Why do we think these won’t continue to happen? Permanent deficits are bad policy and an awful example to regular citizens who simply follow their lead and spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.

The aftermath of this crisis will be massive levels of government debt, which means taxes will rise and future spending will be cut. At least the math would suggest this is what should happen, but in these times, we can’t count on any governments to spend and tax responsibly, because we keep electing ones that don’t.

4. Let kids learn in a different way

I’m not going to lie. I have really been enjoying this time. I realize we are very fortunate in that my job seems to be secure, and really hasn’t changed much at all, besides working from home 100%. Ana’s job is safe for now, so we still have money coming in. I know many are not in this enviable situation, so it is good to see governments stepping up to help get people through, because people really need help right now.

This time of the four of us at home, together, has created a huge opportunity to experiment with learning. When the schools closed, Ana and I put together a plan for the kids. It was simple. They must spend 4 hours per day learning new things. So we created a list of interesting topics, ideas and activities. Here are a few of them:

- learn calligraphy

- practice wood carving

- learn touch typing

- develop a carbon reduction plan for the family

- learn how to cut up a whole chicken and how to fillet a fish

- learn to sew

- make bread and do baking

- research what the Koran is and why is it important

- what is the Big Bang?

- use Lynda.com, khanacademy.org, or any of the thousands of self-directed learning websites

The kids can choose any of these, or come up with their own, but the idea is to use this incredible and probably once-in-a-lifetime gift of time to explore things they are interested in. No teacher telling them what to do, no deadlines, no pressure, and no test. Deliverables from their day’s activities are discussed during dinner and if they have put a presentation together, they deliver it after dinner in the family room, and then we discuss it together.

Are we the kind of people who could do home schooling? I don’t think so. But this time has given Ana and I an incredible chance to explore this style of learning with our kids. And it has been working out very well. The kids have embraced the system and are probably doing more than the 4 hours each day as they are enjoying the things they are working on. They are also allowed to choose their own times. Stella loves to stay up late and sleep in, so she has been doing just that and starting her work day at 10 or 10:30. Magnus sometimes sleeps in, and sometimes is up at 6, so we have put them in control of their time and their learning.

5. Take a break from Consumerism

We buy stuff all the time. It seems that nearly every day we carry something into this house. Something we bought somewhere. I know because I track every dime of our spending and review every receipt, and by the end of the year I have a box absolutely crammed with these scruffs of paper, which I look at and think what the hell was all this stuff?? Well, we’re certainly having a nice break from that. We have bought nothing else besides food for the past two weeks and it has been beautiful. Actually, that’s not quite true – Ana and Magnus went to the Dollar Store yesterday and bought scrubbie pads for doing dishes, some new steak knives, and a few other bits and pieces. I know we needed some of it, but I think it was really more like a pressure relief valve for all the pent up “retail constraint” that has been steadily building. I don’t know. I usually play the bad guy and complain whenever a new bag of stuff comes through the door (thankfully, the things we bring home are usually used and from Value Village, thrift stores, garage sales, etc.) but I do realize we need things to live and I passionately hate shopping so it’s probably better if I keep my mouth shut and just purge things from the house when nobody is looking.

6. Reconsider the use of a rainy day fund

Financial experts used to recommend having 6 – 12 months’ worth of living expenses in savings available in case of an emergency. I think they eventually quit saying it because nobody listened. And in these days of instant and accessible credit, it is quite easy to get money if you need it – from a home equity line of credit, from a credit card, or from a bank loan. At least it is in normal times. When crisis happen, credit often dries up. Back in 2009, the banks effectively stopped lending. This was not kickstarted until the government stepped in and provides massive injections of money and guarantees. The same thing has not yet happened during this crisis, so credit remains available, but there’s a catch: many bank branches are closed, hours are limited, and the telephone lines are overwhelmed with calls so it is virtually impossible to speak with your bank. This means that if you run out of money, and max out your plastic, you might be calling the Bank of Mom and Dad.

Having a nice buffer of savings gives you piece of mind that you can ride out the storms that inevitably occur. Plus, and I hesitate to say this, but these crises usually present some incredible deals on “toys” when people living on the financial edge are forced to start liquidating. In the coming months you will be able to scoop up snowmobiles, atvs, side-by-sides, boats, cars, and trailers at great prices…if you have cash.

7. Transform the working world

Remote working has been with us for a long time, but primarily in select industries or occupations, such as call centres and consulting. Now, we are pushing the boundaries of this and if you have the sort of job that is possible to do remotely, then you likely are. This working model has many advantages that extend far beyond the workplace. First, commuting. Driving to and from work every day produces carbon emissions, wastes time, and exposes both drivers and pedestrians to injury and death from traffic accidents. Commuting requires us to have more and bigger roads, more traffic control systems, more emergency services, more road maintenance equipment. And it causes more localized pollution. These are costs and deaths that could be avoided, and I can’t wait to see the studies that come after this crisis showing how many lives were saved due to fewer traffic accidents.

Second, effective time management. My normal working hours are 8:30 to 4:30, a paltry 7 hours per day making me one of the lucky ones in the public sector. My day is filled with meetings, impromptu hallway conversations, phone calls, and all the regular stuff you find in an office environment. Now, I have been starting at 6am, which gives me over two hours to focus on the tasks that require quiet and concentration without disruption. Then I do my online meetings and calls throughout the day, but I take a much longer lunch to spend time with the kids, go for a walk, play some guitar, or do some writing. Then I get back to work for the afternoon with a clear head. Structuring the day this way has increased the quality and quantity of my output.

Third, having the infrastructure to support remote working makes an organization much more resilient. Being able to rapidly switch to this model in times of crisis reduces downtime and will result in a much better service to the public. This time it’s a virus, but next time it could be a weather disaster, a chemical spill, a bomb threat, or a building failure. Instead of being fragile, let’s be antifragile.

Now do I think that we should all work from home all the time? Absolutely not. But I think we could adjust schedules to allow people to work from home on certain, coordinated days of the week. For example, all meetings happen on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. People in appropriate jobs can work from home Tuesdays and Thursdays. This would allow employees to schedule the tasks that required focus during the home times. Let’s face it, meetings should and do result in action items, and if you have an endless stream of meetings, there’s no time left to do the damn work!

So there you have it – a few ideas to make the most of these troubling times. I strive to be optimistic, and it’s tough when the world seems to be falling apart. But I try to remember that crises will always happen, and they will always end. And though it can be hard to see at the time, some good outcomes will always come out of difficult events.

Why is Everybody Talking About Investing?

Once again the world is being rattled to its core by a Black Swan event – this time a coronavirus pandemic. What is a Black Swan you ask? It is an event that has the following characteristics:

- it is unpredictable and lies outside the norm of regular expectations
- it causes a massive impact
- with hindsight, people insist the event was obvious, and we concoct explanations to make it seem explainable and predictable

While specific Black Swans are by their nature unpredictable, what is predictable is that they happen frequently. They are just different every time. And this time people are not just scared for their money; they are scared for their lives.

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time talking to friends and family about investing. It’s no surprise as the recent market gyrations prod people into thinking there might be a buying opportunity. Or they rock you with fear as you watch your portfolio evaporate before your eyes. In either case, violently whipsawing stock markets grab peoples’ attention.

Is now a good time to invest? In general, if you are a long term investor then anytime is a good time to invest. Experienced investors know that it is impossible to time the market and it is foolish trying to predict what will happen in the markets tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. Saying that, stock markets have historically risen over time and this is driven by our global economic system and mantra of constant and never-ending growth, plus an ever-expanding world population.

I was thinking this week of the last major market meltdown in 2008/9 and I remembered that I wrote a blog during that time to try and capture my feeling as the markets were being pummeled.  The TSX had dropped 45% from 14,700 to about 8,000 over a period of 9 months then hit bottom in February 2009. After watching it bounce up by 15% over a period of 10 days, and considering putting more money in the market, here’s what I wrote.

Blog post from March 19, 2009: Sucker’s Rally or the Bottom?

Like now, back then I didn't have a clue if markets had hit bottom or not. In retrospect, they had hit bottom, and after this point they did indeed shoot back up in a strong rally.

Seems eerily familiar to what is happening today. In February 2020, the TSX hit an all-time high of just shy of 18,000. In one month, it dropped 37% to 11172, and in the past two days has bounced back about 15%. So is the market low right now, or does it have further to fall? Or will it rocket up tomorrow? Nobody knows. And if anybody tells you that they do, then they are a liar.

Here’s the 20 year map of the TSX.

It almost looks predictable. All you had to do to make money was wait until the market dropped, then buy at the bottom and watch your investments shoot up. But we live in the present, and of course there is no way to know when these bottoms are occurring. If you look at the rightmost side of the chart, which represents the current time, you can see that the market has dropped down to a previous low point, which was about 4 years ago.

So, is now a good time to invest? That’s the wrong question. The right question is, does my investment plan require me to do anything at this point in time that’s different than what I do normally. I am an index investor and have an investment plan that is very straightforward. I maintain an overall asset allocation of 80% equities and 20% bonds. Once per year in January I recalculate where my percentages are at based on how stock and bond prices have changed over the year. If stocks have gone up relative to bonds, then my percentages may have shifted to 85% stocks and 15% bonds. I then robotically sell 5% of my stocks and buy bonds. I don’t look at the prices and I don’t think of the future. I just do it. This is a way to force yourself to “buy low and sell high”, a concept that seems simple but in reality is extremely difficult to accomplish. The only other time I ever rebalance my investments is when the overall stock market drops by 20% or more. The reason I do this is so I can take advantage of the inevitable market corrections. But in fact, if you look at the research and data on market timing, it turns out that in the long term, it really and truly does not matter when you invest, as long as you do it consistently.

But I still haven’t answered the question “Is now a good time to invest?”  Despite everything I’ve written thus far, I’m going to say yes. I have an optimistic view of the future and this current crisis doesn’t seem to foreshadow the collapse of the entire world order. If the coronavirus was turning everybody into zombies, then I might be thinking differently, but for now I see this is a severe, but short term shock. Of course three months ago, I thought this whole coronavirus would have completely blown over by now, so I was dead wrong about that.

Let’s think about all the things that may happen in the coming weeks and months that would turn around market sentiments.

- a medicine will be found to treat COVID-19, which greatly reduces the death toll
- a vaccine will be developed (remember, the entire global health industry is singularly focused on this right now)
- governments will provide massive bailouts to companies and people (already happening)
- cheap and effective COVID-19 testing kids will be made widely available that will allow us to more effective quarantine affected people and allow the rest of us to go back to work
- the % death rates could dwindle due to different conditions in different countries

Here’s some things that could happen which would further sour market sentiments.

- the infection rates explode across many countries
- the % death rate climbs higher
- the virus could mutate into something worse
- the economic pause could last longer than expected and prove too damaging for many companies, resulting in bankruptcies, job loss, and deep recession

So based on my prophecy, what am I going to do? Nothing. Doing something different would be messing with my long term plan and strategy, which has worked out just fine so far. Any money we save in the coming months will be invested like it is normally. If the market goes down, we’ll be buying them cheaper. If it goes up, we'll be buying them at a higher price. But in the long term, it won't actually make a significant difference to my overall results.